10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice


I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.



There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:



1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.



2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.



3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.



4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”



Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:




  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.



  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!



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Monday, February 18, 2008

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success






The true standard of measurement for extraordinary outcomes
is that which brings extraordinary benefit and fulfillment
to me and to the lives of others. That’s success!

- Steven K Scott

Yes, I experienced it, I really did; the intense feeling of true happiness and success. Not just temporarily, but extensively for an uninterrupted period of several months. This was simply the most significant ‘achievement’ of mine: finding clarity, peace and happiness in a hectic and high-demanding life. This phase took the entire first half of 2007 and I came out the other end with much insight and understanding about myself and my purpose.

I have never felt so complete and content as I did during this period. With the most rewarding being the absolute stillness I felt within myself and the understanding that we can be truly and absolutely happy with living a simple life with very little material possession. Now, if this is your first visit here, this may sound a little mystical and hand-wavy. No, I am not a hippy, nor am I religious. I am just a girl, going through life, seeking that which we are all seeking: happiness.

What is my secret to happiness and success?

The Inspirations

The catalysts which pushed me into this phase were four books, for which I am extremely grateful. These books are:

  • The Power of Now, By Eckhart Tolle
  • The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, By Deepak Chopra
  • Ways of the Peaceful Warrior, By Dan Millman
  • Guaranteed Solutions, By Swami Nithyananda

I have gained so much wisdom through these books and each time I read them, it wasn’t the words which I was reading, but rather the message. The words from these pages brought me to a higher level of conscious awareness.

The Lifestyle

During the 6 months, I habituated several practices which helped me move into newer levels of understanding. My daily practices included:

  • Meditation - Sitting in silent and calming my mind. 20-30 minutes a sitting. Twice a day.
  • Listening to Meditative Music - Music have the power to shift our moods and calm our minds. I was particularly fond of Stan Richardson’s Japanese Flutes. Everyone who I’ve played it for love its calming effects.
  • Vegetarianism - I was a raw vegan. You can read about Steve Pavlina’s current experiment with a raw diet. I loved the new gained energy I had. I did eat cooked food when dining out, but I refrained from eating meat.
  • Mindfulness - I made a conscious effort to put my full awareness into anything that I was doing. Walking to work, preparing meals, eating, drinking water, listening to others talk.
  • Being Inspired - I spent an hour a day reading or listening to something inspirational. I even hosted a weekly Eckhart Tolle meet-up group where we watched Tolle DVDs, meditated and connected with other people. This turned out to be a deeply enriching experience.
  • Self Dates - I spent a lot of time with myself by myself. I overcame the need to be with other people and the fear of being alone.
  • Daily Focus - From “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success“, I broke the seven laws for each day of the week and focused on one each day. (more details below)
  • Creative Expressions - photography, drawing or writing.
  • Slowed Down - I stopped rushing from place to place, task to task, and started enjoying the miracles of Life; one moment at a time.

This may sound a little extreme, and I was indeed extreme. But I felt a compelling desire to do so, I felt a strong pull towards these practices, in order to satisfy a yearning from deep inside for peace, clarity and understanding.

What Is Success?

Success in life could be defined as the continued expansion of happiness
and the progressive realization of worthy goals.
Success is the ability to fulfill your desires with effortless ease.

- Deepak Chopra

Success is a topic I’ve spent many hours pondering and I’ve come to realize that it is so much more than just material wealth. Material wealth is only a small portion of your collective success potential. It is an experience as part of our journey as spiritual beings and yes, material wealth may make this journey more comfortable, but let’s not neglect the other dimensions of success: the success of sound physical health, fulfilling relationships, meaningful friendships, joy of self-expression, freedom from fear, the capacity to understand people and self-mastery.

Living The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

In Deepak Chopra’s book, “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success“, he gives us a spiritual look at success. You can have an extensive look at each law in his book, which goes into extensive detail. Here are the seven laws along with an example application found in the book:

1. The Law of Pure Potentiality

The source of all creation is pure
consciousness… pure potentiality seeking expression from
the unmanifest to the manifest.

And when we realize that our
true Self is one of pure potentiality,
we align with the power that manifests everything in the universe.

Example Application:

  • ‘I will practice non-judgment. I will begin my day with the statement, “Today, I shall judge nothing that occurs,” and throughout the day I will remind myself not to judge.’

2. The Law of Giving

The universe operates through dynamic exchange…
giving and receiving are different aspects of
the flow of energy in the universe.

And in our willingness to give that which we seek,
we keep the abundance of
the universe circulating in our lives.

Example Application:

  • ‘Wherever I go, and whoever I encounter, I will bring them a gift. The gift may be a compliment, a flower, or a prayer. Today, I will give something to everyone I come into contact with, and so I will begin the process of circulating joy, wealth and affluence in my life and in the lives of others.’
  • ‘I will make a commitment to keep wealth circulating in my life by giving and receiving life’s most precious gifts: the gifts of caring, affection, appreciation, and love. Each time I meet someone, I will silently wish them happiness, joy, and laughter.’

3. The Law of Cause and Effect

“Every action generates a force of energy
that returns to us in like kind . .
what we sow is what we reap.

And when we choose actions that bring happiness and success to others,
the fruit of our karma is happiness and success.”

Example Application:

  • ‘Whenever I make a choice, I will ask myself two questions: “What are the consequences of this choice that I’m making?” and “Will this choice bring fulfillment and happiness to me and also to those who are affected by this choice?”‘

4. The Law of Least Effort

Nature’s intelligence functions with effortless ease . . .
with carefreeness, harmony, and love.

And when we harness the forces of harmony, joy, and love,
we create success and good fortune with effortless ease.

Example Application:

  • ‘I will practice acceptance. Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances, and events as they occur. I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be. I will not struggle against the whole universe by struggling against this moment. My acceptance is total and complete. I accept things as they are this moment, not as I wish they were.’
  • ‘Today my awareness will remain established in Defenselessness. I will relinquish the need to defend my point of view. I will feel no need to convince or persuade others to accept my point of view. I will remain open to all points of view and not be rigidly attached to any one of them.’

5. The Law of Intention and Desire

Inherent in every intention and desire is the mechanics for its fulfillment . . .
Intention and desire in the field of pure potentiality
have infinite organizing power.

And when we introduce an intention in
the fertile ground of pure potentiality,
we put this infinite organizing power to work for us.

Example Application:

  • “I will make a list of all my desires. I will carry this list with me wherever I go. I will look at this list before I go into my silence and meditation. I will look at it before I go to sleep at night. I will look at it when I wake up in the morning.”

6. The Law of Detachment

In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty . . .
in the wisdom of uncertainty list the freedom
from our past, from the known,
which is the prison of past conditioning.

And in our willingness to step into the
unknown, the field of all possibilities,
we surrender ourselves to the creative mind
that orchestrates the dance of the universe.

Example Application:

  • “Today I will commit myself to detachment. I will allow myself and those around me the freedom to be as they are. I will not rigidly impose my idea of how things should be. I will not force solutions on problems, thereby creating new problems. I will participate in everything with detachment involvement.”

7. The Law of Purpose in Life

Everyone has a purpose in life . . . a unique
gift or special talent to give to others.

And when we blend this unique talent with service to others,
we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit,
which is the ultimate goal of all goals.

Example Application:

  • ‘I will make a list of my unique talents. Then I will list all the things that I love to do while expressing my unique talents. When I express my unique talents and use them in the service of humanity, I lose track of time and create abundance in my life as well in the lives of others.’
  • ‘I will ask myself daily, “How can I serve?” and “How can I help?” The answers to these questions will allow me to help and serve my fellow human beings with love.’

How to Live the Seven Spiritual Laws?

Since there are seven principles, I focussed on a different law for each day of the week. Each morning, after waking up, I would read the law for that day and go over the three applications suggested. I would go about my day with these applications in mind.

I’ve found the applications to be a powerful exercise and served as an excellent reminder for where I wanted to be. In doing so, I felt a level of calmness that cannot be expressed in words.

I used seven index cards, and wrote a law on each one, and the respective applications on the back of each card.

What is your definition of Success? What has brought you the most happiness from your experience? Talk to us in the comments, we’d love to hear from you. See you there.

Article Source: Think Simple Now

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