10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

Popular content

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Practical Spirituality - Finding a New Source of Power

Today there is a powerful spirituality movement. When I say spirituality I am not speaking of religion; I am speaking of something different--a connection with the Divine. This connection is what many mystics call "union with God." Sometimes this happens through a religious path, but not often. When it does the person who achieves divine union usually finds herself on the outside looking in.

One time a minister in a somewhat interfaith organization told me that the spiritual ministers usually didn't make it as successful ministers. That statement and the truth of it says something in itself, I think. Spirituality is not a good thing when it comes to maintaining buildings or systems, which are basically the little units of power that everyone needs in order to be able to function in a power-over society. Spiritual people draw on another source of power that is shared by everyone and everything.

One can have a great career working within a religious institution trying to sneak in spirituality and ways to connect every once and a while to those who are interested , but one is not often oneself. One´s own spirit runs dry and this can lead to much despair, corruption of the soul, and even physical and psychosomatic illnesses that lead to death. Worse than this, it can lead to a shift of thinking and a hardening of the heart that can lead to spiritual death. It is important to understand the difference between religion and spirituality. If one is religious and becomes spiritual, he will quickly be given a lesson that demonstrates the difference.

If this New Year you would like to attend to your spiritual needs and be free of the chains that so easy beset many of us in this material power over society, it is important for you to begin a spiritual, not religious journey. It is important to seek and find what suits you best to enhance your spiritual life. This only comes from having and open mind and being around a supportive group of people who are spiritual. If you are around a lot of people who are as bad off as you are socially or spiritually I doubt they will be helpful. As a New Year resolution you may need to spend some time away from such people in order to save your eternal soul.

I am not talking about joining some strange cult, or fasting until you can´t walk, or drinking poison Kool-aid, I am talking about using well proven techniques to find the God within, to commune with that God within, and to ultimately connect with and merge with that God. This merger comes as a result of letting go of the false ideas of self and realizing who we really are. It is easy to do this in the head, but practices like meditation and contemplation help us realize it in our hearts and make it a reality. If you want to make a New Year resolution why not go all the way. Go for enlightenment and spiritual freedom not only in this life, but for all eternity.

It is written that you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. Where shall we find this truth? We, like the one who made the statement, are the truth, the way,and the light. When we transcend the ego and realize this, entering deep within and allowing our divine, wise self to reawaken, we will be free and free indeed. The beginning step is to seek. Repeating actions the same way only brings about the same results. It is time, if you would like to live, to die to the old things and take a journey into the new Kingdom of Heaven that resides within. If we cannot find love, light, hope, God and the Kingdom ruled by love within us, we shall never find it.

Om Prakash John Gilmore is a spiritual director and healer. He teaches Tai-Chi, Chi-Kung and martial arts. Om Prakash has written many books on how to free the human soul and is the founder of the DSWellness Cyber School and the Universal Cyber Circle of Creation Spirituality. From his website http://www.dswellness.com there is a link to the school and Cyber Circe where you will find free courses and a religious service based on mysticism and spiritual principles. You will also find a free Journal of Practical Spirituality and the descriptions and previews of some of his books for freeing the human soul and reclaiming your own identity.

No comments: