10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Monday, May 19, 2008

I read THE SECRET a year ago and my life has steadily improved since then.

The SecretJust stopping in to say hello. I found Good Karma last year shortly after I finished reading The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, but there wasn't much action here back then, and way leads onto way...

I want to share my remedy: If life is knocking you about, try reading The Secret or watching the movie.

I can attest to the radical difference in a person's life that can follow applying the wisdom found within the book and movie. I'm almost ashamed to talk about how much better my life was after a year's time.

My heart goes out to everyone who is living in despair. I remember when every day was an effort that felt futile. I knew life was out to get me, and it was too late to expect any more than I currently had in the world. I could understand that my situation was the result of decisions I made, opportunities I didn't pursue perhaps, but I did not see how I could turn everything around.

A year ago I was on dial-up. I still worked retail. We hadn't had cable television in our home in nearly three years. I was driving on a license that had been revoked back in 2002. I was crushed under the weigh of debts I thought I would never be able to face. And then everything hit the fan again March 2007. Just my 19th nervous breakdown I suppose. I didn't have enough to pay the rent on time, we ran out of heating oil, and the car needed to go to the shop. It was impossible to trace my problems back to a specific date or event by then. Life had been horrible for ten years, and I felt unequal to the task of working so hard to get nowhere, and completely uninterested in facing up to any more drama.

My son had seen the The Secret at school, and he assured me I just had to see the movie to understand how to make it all better. He was confident all I needed was to see the movie, I finally promised I would if he would just stop talking about it. Once the rent was paid and other crises were averted/funded and there was some money for a frivolous pursuit I went to the bookstore. I bought the book instead of the movie because I am more a reader than a watcher. I read The Secret overnight, and I have never again been as stressed out about life. Every time I feel myself begin to get heated I apply the recommended techniques and things go my way, or at least go better than they would have.

Changes in the first year include: Verizon installed internet in June, and Comcast upgraded us to high speed and cable in December. I started my fantastic job in July, took care of my license in October. And just last week I settled an old debt in court. For me, these are huge victories. Though I guess that last one is more than a year from when I read the book. But it's part of the whole trend of my being able to pay my way and settle old claims.

Unexpected checks in the mail, I remember how I scoffed at that. But I downloaded a short Secret video about money from the website and I watched it all the time and imagined myself bathed in wealth. In July I landed a job with a company I had been trying three years to get into. And this job turned out to be a work from home situation. It's a real job, 40 hrs/wk, with benefits. But I do all my work on a computer in my bedroom. I accepted the job thinking I would earn about 25% more than I had at my old job. After my first complete month on the job (August) I received notice that I would be receiving a bonus check that was nearly equal to a week's pay. The following month I earned a bonus closer to two week's pay. I had been promised bonuses, but I'd had no idea they would be so lucrative. This was like unexpected checks in the mail for me. Definitely unexpected compensation for the job I accepted.

And then, the last week of February this year, my boss offered me a promotion. And in a year's time I was making twice as much money as I was when I read The Secret.

I believe in the Secret and the application of its principles. I think positively. I choose to believe that everything in the universe is working for my benefit. I write down my goals and dreams and I review them to keep them fresh in my mind. I express and experience gratitude as often as I think of it, and try to appreciate more and more each day.

I believe that when I went through life thinking that everything was against me, everything WAS against me. And once I started thinking everything happened to my benefit, even when it did not appear to be so, suddenly everything started going better than I had known how to expect.

But I must admit I'm surprised I reap all these benefits because I don't practice the Secret as often as I could. Too many of my to do lists go undone. I don't remember to visualize every day. I average 5 journal entries a month. And yet somehow it's still enough to work to my benefit and I am now making investments and paying off old debts. And finance is only one area of my life that has improved.

It's almost insane how much better my life gets every month. I'm working on launching an online business. I go to Toastmasters meetings and take night courses to invest in my education. And it doesn't feel as hard as I thought it might. I have energy and inspiration to do more than I did when I worked so hard and expected so little in return. Now my efforts reward my expectations.

Oh well, it's hard to know when sharing one's joy becomes boastful and arrogant. If you read this far and you really want to know what could make your life better, and you haven't already read or seen The Secret, please try it. For your sake.

By maragold

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