10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Monday, June 16, 2008

The Cultural Dimension of Poson

This week, Sri Lankan Buddhists celebrate Poson Poya. It is no exaggeration to say that the Lankan culture and Poson Poya are synonymous. History says it was on a Poson Poya day that Arahath Mahinda, son of the great King Asoka of India, and a group of missionaries came to Sri Lanka to spread the word of the Buddha.

Asoka was a harsh king. He was known among his subjects as “Chandasoka”, meaning “cruel Asoka”, but after embracing Buddhism he came to be known as “Dharmasoka”. He accepted the new religion that was fast spreading in his native India and wished to propagate the Buddha Dhamma in the island adjacent to his country.

Arahath Mahinda, after putting King Devanampiyatissa to the test with a series of questions and satisfying himself on the matter of the king’s wisdom, then introduced the Buddhist philosophy to Sri Lanka. This year’s Poson marks the 2,311th year of that historic event.

The Sinhala king accepted Buddhism, and the people of the country followed. This acceptance resulted in a cultural revolution, coloured by the teachings of the great teacher, Lord Buddha. The Sinhala culture became a Buddhist culture, and so it has remained ever since. The meeting of King Devanampiyatissa and Arahath Mihindu at Mihintale (the present Missaka Pawwa), was a defining moment in our history.

From that point on, the kings of Sri Lanka took the lead in religious matters, and their governance was based on ethics drawn from Buddhism. Foreign invasions over the centuries failed to erase the cultural or religious identity of the Sinhala Buddhists. It is Buddhism that has preserved this country’s cultural identity. Anyone who has embraced the Sri Lankan way of life would instinctively respect Buddhist values, regardless of ethnic or religious differences.

Foreign invasions and incursions have, to some extent, modified the cultural identity of the Sinhala Buddhists, especially in maritime areas where, since the 15th century, the Portuguese, the Dutch and the British ways of life have influenced the local culture.

Sinhala customs have their roots in Buddhism. The Sri Lankan Constitution requires that the head of state be a Buddhist. With that first Poson, 2,311 years ago, Buddhism and the Sinhala culture became one.

The Poson experience has led Sri Lankans to believe that the Lord Buddha chose Lanka as the place that would preserve his teachings. Lankans believe the nation was reborn on that august day.

Non-Buddhists appreciative of the Buddhist way of thinking would gain insights into the country’s ethnic, cultural and religious character. This awareness leads to a deeper understanding of the country. It is only through such an understanding that all communities in Sri Lanka can live in peace and harmony.

Poson is a good opportunity to restore the inter-religious, inter-ethnic harmony that the peace-loving have been struggling to recover for close to three decades.

By Lenard R. Mahaarachchi

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