10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Sunday, August 10, 2008

A Touch of Samsara

NAMED for rebirth, a spa strives to live up to it, writes SU AZIZ.

SAMSARA, in Hinduism and Buddhism, depicts the endless or eternal cycle of birth, suffering, death and rebirth.

As you can see, it is a name that carries a lot of weight and meaning. Therefore, Samsara Spa chain of Swiss Garden Hotel and Resorts has quite a big shoe to fill. The question is, can it?

Heavily deriving inspiration from the spas of Bali, Samsara Spa displays plenty of physical similarities in its decor. There are also same attitudes of the mid-range spas of Bali. For instance, blithe regards when it comes to one's state of undress and for its Kuala Lumpur branch, peace and security. Three important ingredients that can elevate one's comfort level. For me, at least.

The spa offers a range of Balinese, Malay and Thai traditional massages and treatments of an hour from RM180 to close to two hours for RM290. I opted for its Samsara Healer which promises to relieve fever, headaches and muscle aches with its boreh body wrap of herbal and spices ingredients. This is followed by a bath infused with similar ingredients as the wrap and then finished with a Balinese massage. A two-hour pamper would surely rejuvenate and lift off the draining headache caused by this constant crick in my neck. Or so I thought.

Although the ingredients of the boreh exuded an enormous amount of heat, its loose wrap, however, failed to contain the warmth long enough for my body to absorb its goodness fully. The 20 minutes allocated for this part of the treatment was interrupted intermittently by conversations in the corridor, just outside my door, which resulted in a feeling that the wrap session was rather perfunctory.

Nevertheless, all was redeemed during the bath which is separated from the treatment room. That is, until I realised that there seemed to be endless traffic going in and out of my treatment room. Oops, I thought, my valuables (which included my notes from a previous interview) were unattended. Hmmm. Hard to relax, now!

So, in a surge of discomfit, I got out of the bath in half the time allocated, dried myself up and waded out to the treatment room. Quite surprising my Balinese masseuse was waiting.

The treatment continued, prematurely needless to say, to its final stage - the Balinese massage. Always a favourite of mine and effective in temporarily lifting my aches and pains. My request was for strong pressure. It was, well, adequate but far from what my knotted muscles needed.

A Balinese massage is meant to stimulate blood circulation, knead deep tissues and relax tense muscles. Long, pressured strokes caused by either the palms, fists or elbows, are meant to be endless and languid.

Touch is the main ingredient of a Balinese or Malay massage. The masseuse never or hardly ever lifts a hand off your skin. Transferring and emitting bouts of warmth which is then absorbed by the recipient of the massage. It is about stimulating blood vessels to work at their optimum level. That is why I love either one of the two types of massages. Alas, just not the one served up on that fateful day, in a place that carries the concept of eternal cycle of rebirth.

By Su Aziz

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