10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Thursday, October 23, 2008

Don’t Hesitate to Meditate

For the past several years, an organization called The Mind and Life Institute has been coordinating a yearly dialogue between the Dalai Lama and Western scientists. Increasingly, these scientists are neurologists and psychologists interested in such things as how emotions can be controlled and how attention can be marshaled to perform tasks more efficiently than before. They believe that meditators throughout the long history of Buddhism have uncovered some insights into such topics.

For his part, the Dalai Lama has put aside the religious aspects of Buddhism for the moment and considers Buddhism as a psychology of human behavior, behavior which can be trained and improved.

The cooperation between scientists and Buddhist practitioners has spawned several scientific studies. One of these studies found that long-term practitioners of meditation can sustain feelings of compassion much longer and more intensely than those untrained. Their brains generate significant changes as seen in brain scans. Also, when subjected to loud and irritating sounds, long-term practitioners can recover their composure more quickly than untrained participants. This ability to regain equilibrium demonstrates that meditation helps to control stress.

Samples of meditation that produce such results are as follows:

« A form of sitting meditation could involve the breath. The practitioner sits straight up in a chair with his or her feet flat on the floor, eyes closed. The meditator then notices the breath coming in and out, focusing on where the breath touches the lip. He or she keeps the focus on that spot in so far as possible, returning attention back to the spot when the mind wanders.

« Another form of meditation can be accomplished while walking. One walks slowly with the shoes off, without looking at the feet. This meditation is designed to teach you how to keep your balance. As one gets older, the sense of balance found in the inner ear starts to decline. As a result, older people tend to watch their feet as they walk, but if someone physically disturbs their walking, they are more likely to fall. Hence they should not depend upon sight to maintain their balance. Instead, they should practice walking in bare feet to regain the sensitivity between the feet and the ground that has been lost because of the intervening hard surface of the shoes.

These and other forms of meditation can be practiced every Friday morning at the Fort Collins Senior Center, 1200 Raintree Drive, from 10-11 a.m. in a group led by Bob McCartney, who has taught Buddhism for several years and has had extensive training in a temple in Denver led by Thai monks.

By Bob McCartney

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