10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Thursday, November 06, 2008

God Is Not a Repulican

I realize it probably disturbs quite a number of folks out there, but God is not a Republican. In point of fact if God is the wrathful, fear-mongering, obstinate old gruel some of you think He is, you Republicans in many instances have some serious trouble on your hands. So I've been working on this awhile, you see, and I have discovered a salient reality, to wit, God does not care one iota about any of this political nonsense; He simply does not have time, I assure you; except in this one particular sense: If in a political contest you assert that God is on your side, not the other guy's side, you are definitely going straight to hell.

Closely studying this thing called God and religion, the first thing we discover is everybody else is wrong. Verily and forsooth, a fascinating reality this. The major religions of the world, all evolved from great civilizations, are Shintoism, Confucianism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, and Christianity, not so many, really. Then there are the two remaining great tribal religions, inordinately martial in spirit and obstinate in nature, Judaism and Sikhism, both surrounded seemingly in perpetuity by enemies. And everybody else is wrong.

Christianity, fragmented as it is, provides us with the ultimate stomping ground for "them and us." The modern model for developing super churches, networking like-minded people, insures that the rules of exclusion become more fundamental, more profound. God is not love, God is fear; and Jesus is the shepherd pointing the way to the collection plate. Believe as I believe, or else, it is not the damnation of your soul that is here at peril, but its very existence; for if you do not believe as I believe, you will experience not just death of the body, but also that of the soul. And I am the arbiter of your fate, the controller of the collection plate, and be I Methodist, Lutheran, Mormon, Catholic, Episcopalian, Unitarian, or whatever, hear my carny con: "I am right, and everybody else is wrong."

Whoever, whatever God is, He doesn't have time for any of this stuff. There's a whole universe of things going on out there, and any bit of it is more interesting than this malarkey. As manifested by most of these folks God is an old white man with long white hair and a long white beard. You can believe in the George Burns version if you want, but I doubt God would run around in a shriveled old body with arms that can hardly hold up a cigar. I'm not sure why God has to be an old white man, unless maybe it's white men who conjured that image up, but Mother Earth, his regional subcontractor, is definitely all woman, and sometimes a real bitch at that. Best be nice.

So old white man, maybe, who knows. But if He's an old white man with long hair and a long beard, He is not out there saving souls, trying to get Elizabeth Dole re-elected, or terra-forming new galaxies, no no. He's playing golf. There is no other possibility; it has to be golf. Good lord, He's God, He is omnipotent. Everything is as it should be. Chess, He's omnipotent; He beats everyone. But golf is golf. If you cheat, it's not golf. It has to be golf.

There's a universe of golf courses out there, and in His dotage, the Old Man's having a good time. Doubt seriously He even knows what's happening down here, and if He does, He could care less. About the only observation He might make: "With freedom they sure do make a mess of things."

Perhaps somehow it is re-assuring that everybody else is wrong.

David G. Hanger

1 comment:

Emily said...

I've often wondered about this and the creation of a one world religion. If you are a monotheistic religion, you can not validate that any other religion believes in a different creator than you because that would be polytheism - so if you believe it is just a difference in how you worship - you are admittng that everyone worships that same creator - in the end we are all part of the same religion pretty much - just expressing devotion in different ways - much like artists express their creativity in through different media (which may be way a great deal of zealots are into banning freedom of expression, art, pornography etc. who knows - just a thought).