10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Thursday, December 18, 2008

What Transformational Healing Traditions Inspire You?

Transformation can be seen as a tool for learning. I often say, I won’t go through tough "shit" without learning from it. There is no point to facing what we perceive as death and destruction without growing from that experience. I have heard the phrase, “an unexamined life goes nowhere”.

Transformation forces us to examine our lives. Of course some of us have no choice rather than to confront our “divine chaos” when transformation is triggered by some sort of traumatic event such as divorce, loss of a job, economic hardship, health issues, etc. (All issues that hit me at once!) These events can catapult you into full attention and questioning of your life. Such divine chaos is an opportunity for inner reflection. It’s like the universe is saying “pay attention! I am giving you an opportunity to allow your life to proceed with greater purpose!” Many times, as a result of transformational experiences, fulfilling opportunities arise from this chaos which we otherwise would not have been open to. For example, perhaps “losing my job” forced me into pursuing my own soul inspired and consciously aware business. This is an opportunity I wouldn’t have explored so ambitiously if I was parked into the status quo of my former job.

Transformation does not always need to arise from trauma. It can happen gently and with a subtle intention. The point is that when you resist (even Trekkies know that resistance is futile) the universe continues to insist! This is why it’s important to listen to the subtle cues born of awareness, intuition, instinct, and your inner voice, and then follow up on this awareness with inspired action. Too many times we hear these messages over and over and do nothing. Thus, as in my own case, we get blind sided into real clarity.

The journey requires self awareness. The greatest shift in awareness may stem from our own perception. We have the power to shift our perception… to recreate the story of our existence. What is your story? Are you a spiritual being having a human experience or are you a human being having a spiritual experience? For many, the very acknowledgement of spirit and influence over their own perception can have a deeply transformational impact.

So back to the original question, what is a transformational healing tradition?

I am reminded of the ancient tradition of astrology with its Plutonian concepts of death and destruction as a means to transformation and its chironic reflections (chiron representing the wounded healer) of transformation through the confrontation of one’s innermost wounds. What a beautiful example of a transformational healing tradition.

I am also reminded of Latin American folk healing, a tradition that does not separate the soul from the physical body. In fact the intent of spiritual shamans and Granny healers of the tradition is to reunite the body with the soul, for disease is a manifestation of soul loss arisen from trauma or fear. What greater transformation than to be reunited body and soul! Along the same lines, conventional western healing culture is not devoid of transformational healing. They just use different terminology like “post traumatic stress disorder” and may support transformational healing through counseling and education.

There are many different healing traditions that inspire transformation. I am an herbalist, and I have seen many cases of truly inspiring transformation simply by connecting people with plants and nature and by empowering students to become healers not only to themselves but to their loved ones, their communities, and their planet. Speaking of the planet, I would have to say that we are in the midst of a mass transformation!

What healing traditions have inspired your personal transformations?

By Mimi Hernandez

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