10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Four Keys of Pagan Parenting

As with other spiritually liberal parents, Pagans encourage their kids to explore many faiths so that they can choose one that fits them best.

Pagans, above all, understand the value of religious freedom, and encourage their kids to research many faiths before choosing to practice one. In addition to this many Pagans teach their kids to value nature, to welcome diversity, and to understand their family's Pagan spirituality and practices. Naturally these themes will vary in importance to a particular family, but to some degree you will usually find all four keys to Pagan Parenting.

Welcoming Diversity

Pagans tend to be very liberal, accepting, inclusive people. Many strive raise their children with gender equality, teaching that girls and boys are equal. Pagans value religious freedom and are accepting of other people's faiths, even if they disagree. Pagans actively teach their kids to embrace cultural diversity and are commonly accepting of the gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender community. Pagans feel that just as there are many Gods and Goddesses so too are there many different people. Simply by looking at nature, it's obvious to Pagans that the divine loves diversity. The Teaching Tolerance website has many excellent resources on anti-bias education for interested parents.

Religious Literacy

As apart of a young person's upbringing, Pagans help their children to explore many faiths and explore spiritual questions. Studying world religions and even visiting different houses of worship are a common occurrence in Pagan families. Being religiously literate, so that a youth can make an informed decision about what they believe is important to Pagans. Religious literacy also helps Pagans understand other faiths to foster tolerance and acceptance. Unlike other faiths, Pagans do not seek to convert others, not even their own children. Books, such as Sacred Myths: Stories of World Religions by Marilyn McFarlane, can be helpful in teaching religious literacy.

Environmental Awareness

While not all Pagans practice an "Earth Based Spirituality" most have a deep respect, if not reverence for nature and actively teach their kids that "Earth Day is Everyday". Living a "green" lifestyle is common among Pagans. Some families recycle, drive a hybrid vehicle, eat organic food, use cloth diapers, or are vegetarian or vegan. A growing number of Pagan families strive for a sustainable life style and may grow their own organic vegetables, raise livestock for meat, hunt, fish, or live off the grid using wind or solar power. There are many ways to live a greener life, and there is a great variety in the Pagan community as to how the desire to live in peace with nature is expressed.


Last, some Pagans do teach their children about their Pagan traditions, though some do not for fear that their children may become targets for religious discrimination. Most parents do not require their kids to participate in their particular Pagan faith (there are many different types of Pagans), but beliefs are discussed, and children are invited to celebrate their holidays in age appropriate ways. There are several Pagan parenting books available with celebration ideas, sacred stories, crafts and chants for the eight Wiccan holidays. Circle Round: Raising Children in Goddesss Traditions by Starhawk is a very popular guide to Pagan parenting. Another resource for Wiccans and other Witches is Pooka's Pages, a free magazine by Lora Craig-Gaddis.

These four general themes are common, but by no means is there a set standard or doctrine to Pagan parenting. Every family is a little different and will place more or less emphasis on any of the four values. Pagan parenting tends to be very liberal, encouraging respect for all peoples, their right to their faith, and an active respect for nature. Most of all Pagan parents want to give their kids the freedom to choose a satisfying spiritual path that fits them well, guides them to grow spiritually and makes them excited to apart of this beautiful world.

The copyright of the article The Four Keys of Pagan Parenting in Paganism/Wicca is owned by Elizabeth La Posta. Permission to republish The Four Keys of Pagan Parenting in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

Elizabeth La Posta

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