10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice


I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.



There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:



1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.



2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.



3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.



4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”



Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:




  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.



  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!



Popular content

Sunday, January 18, 2009

New temple offers insight into Buddhism

It was a double celebration Saturday night inside the International Buddhist Progress Society Chicago temple. Members gathered to give an early welcome to the Chinese New Year, and they also celebrated the grand opening of the temple's new building.

Located on 5 acres along Route 53 in the unincorporated area between Woodridge and Naperville, the temple is housed in a former barn. With its renovation complete, members are welcoming the public to visit and learn more about Buddhism and Chinese culture.

"We want to utilize this to the maximum capacity in any way we can," said Venerable Manpou, Buddhist nun and director of the temple. "Come here, have some tea with us, have a chat, talk about anything. Treat it like a community center, like part of your home."

Like several of the speakers Saturday, Manpou spoke to the audience in both Chinese and English. The temple practices Mahayana Buddhism, typically found in China, Korea and Japan. IBPS Chicago is an affiliate of Fo Guang Shan temple in Taiwan and is now the spiritual home to about 200 members who come from as far as Highland Park and Chicago.

During the celebration Saturday, visitors were treated to a vegetarian dinner along with entertainment, including a Peking Opera performance, demonstrations and games.

The temple started "from zero a few years ago in very small apartment on Cass Avenue" in Darien, Chairman Yman Vien said. "What you are looking at is a complete turnaround from a ... barn."

Sitting atop the altar at the front of the temple are three large golden statues -- Buddha, Dharma and Sangha -- which together represent the Triple Gem. None of the other temples in the Chicago area has all three statues, said member Annie Chen.

While the statues are on an altar, members say Buddha is not worshipped, but is looked to for guidance on the path to enlightenment.

"Buddha is not a god," Yvonne Hammond of Naperville said. Rather, he is "an enlightened person who is helping us on our paths," she said. "We all have the potential of getting there -- to Nirvana."

Hammond began attending temple services two years ago. Having always been interested in Buddhism, she began taking lessons with Manpou. This summer, she officially became a Buddhist.

"I really believe in the principles and philosophy," she said.

Hammond said members are Humanistic Buddhists, which encourage followers to integrate the Buddha's teachings into daily life for the benefit themselves and others. It encourages reaching out to others through charity work and educating people about the Dharma -- the teachings of Buddha.

"It's all about helping people," Hammond said.

By KATHY CICHON

No comments: