10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Thursday, June 04, 2009

Promised land to offer Buddhism, Thai culture

An expansive complex featuring a Buddhist temple, a shopping center, a restaurant and a hotel is planned for 10 acres in Pataskala, the dream of a Thai Catholic who runs two restaurants in Columbus.

Trairatana Ridhibhinyo, who goes by the name John Tai, said he has thought about building a Thai Buddhist temple for at least 15 years.

Though he is not a Buddhist, 95percent of his homeland is. He envisions not just a worship center but a place to celebrate and raise awareness of Thai culture.

The future location of the Columbus Buddhism Center, south of Blacks Road, is now just a soybean field.

Friday at 9 a.m., the land will be blessed and dedicated.

The complex will attract both Buddhists for worship and tourists, said Tai, who moved to Columbus in 1970 and opened Siam Express in the Greater Columbus Convention Center in 1980.

"My vision is they come to see our culture," he said. "They'll be able to come here to see something they'll never (otherwise) be able to see in Ohio."

Early plans for the $20 million complex include a temple, a residence for five monks, a building for meditation and prayer, an all-purpose building for meditation classes and wedding celebrations, a bell tower and several open-air structures.

Tai also plans a floating market over a pond, a hotel and a restaurant. He'd like to offer spa services, yoga classes and festivals.

He hopes to have the temple and restaurant open by July 2011, with the rest coming by 2014.

The $8 million for the temple and its adjacent buildings will be raised mostly in Thailand, where the project has received approval from the highest-ranking active Buddhist official, Tai said.

The other $12 million, for the commercial side, will come from investors in Thailand, China and Korea.

The 5 acres of land that will be dedicated Friday will be the site of the temple, monks' quarters and all-purpose building and has been donated by real-estate developer H. Burkley Showe.

Tai intends to raise the money to lease the adjacent 5 acres for the floating market, restaurant and hotel.

Showe, who met Tai 20 years ago as a patron at the Siam Oriental Restaurant on Bethel Road, owns property in Hawaii, where he donated funding for a Buddhist temple after meeting a group of monks through one of his Buddhist housekeepers.

"I kind of endorse what they do, even though I have no particular ties to Buddhism," said Showe, a Catholic. He said he tries to read Buddhist literature daily because Buddhism is "a beautiful exercise of the mind" that doesn't contradict his own faith.

The city of Pataskala has been approached with preliminary plans for the temple, Planning Director Dianne Harris said. Her office is working to identify any potential zoning issues.

Her main concern, she said, is access to water and sewer services because the land is undeveloped. Hook-ups could be expensive, and the city wouldn't pay for that.

The prospect of the Buddhism center is "certainly something very different for our community," she said. "It sounds exciting to have a major cultural center here."

By Meredith Heagney

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