10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice


I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.



There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:



1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.



2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.



3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.



4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”



Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:




  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.



  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!



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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

An economic perspective on spiritual development and growth

During the 1980’s evangelicals embarked on the church growth movement in an attempt to apply social sciences to achieve growing numbers of Christians and churches. The idea was controversial from the start, but the church growth movement had a huge impact that continues to reverberate. Although many have pushed back against the emphasis on numbers, countering with the need for qualitative growth as well, and the term “church growth” is no longer in vogue, the legacy of the church growth movement is a continuing urgency to foster and guide Christian movements of conversion and institutional expansion.

Today I was reading an economist writing about development theory, and I was struck by the parallels between people who want to promote and control growth — whether economic or spiritual — on a large scale. William Easterly writes on “The Anarchy of Success“:

Humans are suckers for finding patterns where none really exist, like seeing the shapes of lions and giraffes in the clouds. It wasn’t that economists had no explanations of what causes growth. On the contrary, we had too many. One survey of the field counted no fewer than 145 separate factors that had been found to be associated with growth. But most of these patterns were spurious, because they failed to hold up when other researchers tried to replicate them. Economists can say something useful about economic success, but we have to clear away a lot of false overconfidence before we get to that point.


Growth and development whether in spiritual or economic terms has been thoroughly studied and we have principles and formulas up the yin yang, but are we the wiser for all the research and theorizing? Does real change, whether in spiritual or economic terms, come from engagement with people in the grit, decisions, and paradoxes of real life? If so, what we need is not endless futile and misguided attempts to control the process but more freedom and opportunity for growth to emerge from below (whether economic or spiritual).

Easterly finishes,

Perhaps prosperity is not after all designed from above; perhaps it emerges from below, from the independent actions of many individuals who figure out their own paths.


Here is a different version of this quote in my words as a follower of Jesus,

Perhaps the growth of God’s people in the world is not designed or controlled by people in supposed positions of influence; perhaps it emerges from below, from the actions of many individuals who figure out their own paths in concert with the Spirit of God working in them.

Andrew Gray