10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Positive Character Is Valued By Society

Just as negative behaviors ripple out their horrible effects, positive character ripples out positive effects. This is how we can affect others in a positive way. When we choose to consistently demonstrate positive character, the effects ripple outward giving others hope that our society and world can change for the better. For instance, if everyone in a community decided to practice honesty, then there would be no theft in that area. There would be no muggings, pickpockets or burglaries. There would be no need to lock the doors to your home or car, and if you forgot your wallet or purse somewhere, it would be returned to you with all of your money in it.

The ripple effect from such a phenomenon would stretch far and wide. First, the number of crimes, arrests, as well as, the police officers on patrol would be greatly reduced. Since there would be no shoplifting, the price of merchandise would also be significantly lowered. In addition to this, there would be a ripple effect of peace and security throughout this community.

The above scenario may sound too great to be true, and you're probably thinking, "Yeah, right, not while I'm alive on this earth." But every once in a while there are articles about individuals who choose to be honest, compassionate, courageous and responsible. If one person could learn the value of having a positive character and treating others with compassion and respect, it gives hope that others can as well. If one person can do it, why can't others?

Our society calls people who demonstrate positive character traits and go out of their way to serve others as heroes. In actuality, they are ordinary people with a moral character doing extraordinary things. Headlines like, "Boy Finds Purse and Returns It To Elderly Woman" or "Young Girl Rescues Toddler From Drowning" ripple outward giving hope that these same positive character traits can be internalized by others. A person may not get an opportunity to be a "hero" everyday; but, by demonstrating positive character traits in one's daily interactions with others, one can motivate and encourage others to be positive, too.

Have you ever taken a look at the classifieds? All companies and businesses require that their employees be honest and reliable. They even ask if the applicant has ever been convicted of a crime, and if so, what was the crime? Some companies require that anyone applying for a position with them must undergo drug screening. Businesses are also aware that their customers value honesty and dependability. They advertise these moral character traits in order to make potential customers interested in their businesses. Any business that provides a product or a service for the public knows that no one wants to feel cheated or to be "ripped off". They also know that if they make inferior products and are dishonest in any way, customers will no longer trust the quality of their products and they would go out of business.

We buy merchandise because we trust that merchants will be honest and make products that are of high quality. The ripple effect which results from the moral character of businesses and companies is one of a better economy and a stronger nation financially. By treating someone with kindness and consideration, you could motivate and inspire that person to treat someone else with the same kindness and consideration. However, the opposite is just as true. Another saying that shows how we are affected by one another is "violence causes more violence." For example, if you are violent towards someone, they could , in turn, be violent towards you and also violent towards others.

Honesty, respect, compassion, and truthfulness are all positive moral character traits that, when applied to how nations interact with each other, can result in tolerance, understanding and peace around the world. Imagine if all nations who are in conflict would begin to incorporate positive moral character traits when interacting with each other. The ripple effect from this would be awesome. The fighting and wars would end. People would be able to live in peace without the threat of violence to rob them of their property, lives, or the lives of their children.

Instead of spending billions of dollars on military and nuclear weapons, we would feed the hungry and find cures for the hundreds of diseases that kill thousands of people each year. Do not underestimate the importance of a positive moral character in the life of an individual, society and the world. A positive character is to be valued and maintained by all people if we want our world to be a safe and secure place for everyone.

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