10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Buddhism - The Noble Truths and The Eight-Fold Path

Buddhism has been the dominant religion of the Eastern world for centuries, including China, Japan, Korea, and most of Southeast Asia.

In addition, the growth of the Asian population in the U.S., has served to increase the interest in Buddhism in the United States. Statistics have shown that currently, there are well over 300,000 Buddhists in the U.S.

Founder of Buddhism, Siddhartha Gautama, went on a spiritual quest to determine the cause of pain and suffering, holding to the Hindu belief in reincarnation, in that one returns to earthly life in a higher or lower form, according to one's good or bad deeds.

The above belief prompted the question of how to break the rebirth cycle. Basic teachings of Buddhism focus on what Siddhartha believed to be the answer to those questions.

The basic tenants of Buddhism are found in the Four Noble Truths and the Eight-Fold Path.

The Noble Truths

  1. The First Noble Truth: is the acknowledgment that pain and suffering exists in the world in all of nature and human life, as realized and taught by Siddhartha. It is inevitable that sickness and old age generally becomes painful, and all living things experience suffering.
  2. The Second Noble Truth: concerns the cause of suffering, with Siddhartha believing that the root cause of suffering is desire. Through his meditations, he realized that suffering is ultimately caused by wealth and selfish enjoyment, the cravings of which are rooted in ignorance, and can therefore, never be satisfied.
  3. The Third Noble Truth: pertains to the cessation of all suffering, which occurs when a person is able to rid him or herself of all desires.
  4. The Fourth Noble Truth: relates to the extinguishing of all desire by following the eight-fold path, a system designed to develop habits that will release people from the restrictions caused by ignorance and craving.

The Eight-Fold Path

There are eight steps to following the eight-fold path:

  1. Right Views. accepting the four noble truths.
  2. Right Resolve: renouncing all desires and any thoughts related to lust, bitterness, and cruelty. No living creatures may be harmed.
  3. Right Speech: speaking only the truth. There may be no lying, slander, or vain speech.
  4. Right Behavior: abstaining from sexual immorality, stealing, and all killing.
  5. Right Occupation: benefiting others and harm no one with the work chosen.
  6. Right Effort: seeking to eliminate any evil qualities within and prevent any new ones from arising. One should seek to attain good and moral qualities and develop those already possessed. Seek to grow in maturity and perfection until universal love is attained.
  7. Right Contemplation. being observant, contemplative, and free of desire and sorrow.
  8. Right Meditation: once freed from all desires and evil, a person must concentrate on meditation to overcome any sensation of pleasure or pain and enter a state of transcending consciousness to attain a state of perfection.

Buddhists believe that it is through the above self-effort, one can attain the state of peace and eternal bliss, known as "Nirvana."

Anna Barbosa is an avid sudent of Buddhism and owner of http://www.mettabuddha.com

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