Anger Management: How to Control Your Emotions and Stay Calm

Anger is a natural human emotion that can range from mild irritation to intense rage. It is a response to perceived threats or injustices, and can often be a healthy and necessary emotion. However, when anger is not managed properly, it can lead to negative outcomes such as physical violence, damaged relationships, and health problems.

To manage anger effectively, it is important to first recognize the signs of anger in yourself and others. These can include physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, tense muscles, and clenched fists, as well as behavioral changes such as yelling, blaming, or withdrawing from others.

Once you have identified the signs of anger, there are several strategies you can use to manage it effectively. These include:

1. Taking a break from the situation to calm down
2. Engaging in relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation
3. Using cognitive reframing to challenge and change negative thoughts and beliefs
4. Communicating assertively to express your needs and boundaries without being aggressive
5. Seeking professional help if anger is causing significant problems in your life.

By learning and practicing anger management techniques, you can better control your emotions and prevent anger from causing harm to yourself and others.

10 Greatest discoveries and masterpieces done after dreams

The influence of dreams on our civilization has quite various aspects and many scientists keep trying to explain them. They create and prove theories but all of a sudden the theories begin ruining and again and again wise men try to find explanations to what we see in time of dreaming.

The only fact that cannot be debated is that when dreaming you switch off your conscious and subconscious comes to rule.
The dreaming can appear a serious means for solving vital problems. When we get the gift of Morpheus our conscious gets free of limited boring life. Everything is possible in the world of dreaming. The things we used to refuse in reality we easily accept while dreaming. But some men don’t refuse what they see during dreams. Great masterpieces and discoveries appeared because these people could accept their dreams and apply their ideas in real life.

• 1. Nostradamus used to see most of our future in his dreams. He described these things in his well known quatrains. Now we have his great works and try to prevent some incidents we don’t want to see in the future.

• 2. An outstanding chemist Dmitry Mendeleev saw his periodical table when dreaming. He was working for a long time but something prevented him from finishing the table. He could see relations between elements but he could not build the table using them. And after a happy dreaming he quickly woke up and began drawing his dream on the paper. The table was completed.

• 3. The Violin Sonata in G minor, more famously known as the Devil's Trill Sonata by Guiseppe Tartini is still one of magnificent musical compositions, technically hard to play. It started when Tartini saw the Devil in his dreams. The Devil asked Tartini to be his music teacher. At the end of the lesson Tartini handed him the violin and asked to play something in purpose to try the devil’s talent. The devil started playing and played so virtuously that Tartini was struck. After waking up the composer tried to write all he had heard and now the humankind has a great musical masterpiece. But Tartini assured that the composition differed from original very greatly.

• 4. Niels Henrik David Bohr also saw his famous model of atom in his dreams about planets coming round Sun.

• 5. Friedrich August Kekule von Stradonitz was very nervous trying to solve a riddle of benzene molecule. It lacked the hydrogen atoms but he could not find the solution. He dreamed that he was at a ball. Molecules were dancing and some of them looked like snakes. Suddenly one of them bit its tail. And this image got into Kekule’s mind so that the molecule structure contained a six-membered ring of carbon atoms. “Let’s see dreams”, he said.

• 6. Otto Loewi discovered the process of nervous system. Using this process nervous system regulates heart breaking. He dreamed of an experiment and he recognized that transmissions of nerve impulses are chemical, not electrical. But the joke was when he wrote his dream he couldn’t make it out. He said that day was the most horrible in his life and all day he spent trying to remember what he had dreamt. Nevertheless, at the end of all he won the Noble Prize for what he saw once while dreaming.

• 7. One ever interested in spirit and souls knows Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri. Most of his masterpiece Italian Master saw when dreaming.

• 8. Do you like costumes you wear? It’s hard to believe but the old sewing machines were hard to use. One American tailor named Elias Howe was trying to work out his first sewing machine. But the needle of it was quite hard to use for its eye was either in the middle of a needle or at the top of it. Elias had a terrible nightmare: he was caught by cannibals threatening to eat him unless he invented a new model of machine. He saw that the spears in cannibals’ arms had eyes at the end of weapon. When awaking, he drew a new machine model the one tailors use nowadays.

• 9. A Hungarian writer Laszlo Biro used to make his shirts dirty with ink and he was very cross with this fact. So, in 1938 he dreamed that many men were staring at his work outside and annoying him very much. He took his gun and tried to shoot but only ink appeared out of the gun. After Biro had woken up, he began writing down the balls he saw and making calculations. So the world was presented a ball pen.

• 10. Alan Huang had many attempts to make an optical schema for Bell Laboratories in the early 90s. The schema would give possibility to change all electronics inside a computer. Alan saw the same dream over and over again as mailmen were carrying mails moving along corridors. But at a cross of corridors they always had traffic jam. But, happily, one day he dreamt that all mailmen started passing through one another like ghosts. And Alan understood the photons but not electrons have such property. Now all optical computers use this peculiarity.

Dreaming is a natural finish of every passed day. They say a dream recovers one’s health and strength. But at the same time repeating nightmare can take man’s patience away for a long time. No matter how it happens, try to see the reverse side of this for a nightmare may be a signal for something or a solution for some special problem of yours. Let’s see dreams…

What is Spirituality?

One of my clients, who has only believed in the physical level of experience, is currently finding that this is limiting him in his personal growth. He has been very resistant to opening up to any kind of spirituality, having had some very negative and confusing experiences with religion and spirituality in his past. He recently came to the conclusion that he doesn't really know what spirituality is. And so he asked me how I would define it. The below is my response to him. Although, of course, the subject is far more complex than this preliminary answer, perhaps others will find it helpful:

God is the essence of all that is true and real. It is truth, intelligence, life, love and goodness. It is all that really exists beyond illusion, delusion and fear. It is the source of safety and well-being from the broadest perspective.

The Divine is a high frequency vibration of love, of intelligence, of life, of truth -- and is the essence of who we are. People can be a vehicle for the Divine vibration, so can music, so can words, and many other things. The person or the experience that has been affected by It is like a harp's cord that has been plucked, and resonates to It's vibration.

When an actor, or a musician, or a singer, or an athlete, or anyone who is really functioning at the top level of human expression, gets into a zone where some perfection is pouring out through them, a channel has been opened allowing the Divine to express Itself through them. That channel being open is what causes someone to stand out as a star.

We can either feel in the Divine flow or not. When we are feeling in the Divine flow, life flows smoothly, it's clear to us what decisions to make, what thing to do, and in what order. It flows effortlessly, and blissfully. We feel in alignment with life, with whatever comes up for us. We get inspired thoughts for our creative work. We feel a lightness, a full of life feeling, a high vibration, a feeling of joy or bliss, especially when we've got inspiration flowing through us. We feel not in the Divine flow when nothing seems to work right, when we have to make a decision and have no idea what to do. We come up with a blank, run into road blocks right and left, don't getting inspired thoughts, and our energy seems stuck and heavy.

An important part of being on a spiritual path is learning how to be in the Divine flow more and more consistently until we are always there, which would then be a state of enlightenment. Being on a spiritual path requires receptivity, a listening for and to Divine guidance or inspiration.

There are certain things that open up a portal to Divine inspiration, Divine knowledge, Divine experience, Divine flow. One of them is truth. Having faith that when you get to truth, things work out, a solution is found, transformation happens -- is having faith that the way things really are (which is what truth is) is perfect; it is the state in which life works. People who live a conscious life, committed to following a path of truth, find that when we are in truth, we experience that life, in fact, does work, and that it is the avoidance of truth that causes our lives not to work. This demonstrates that life lived in truth connects us with an intelligent, Divine order in things.

Another portal to the Divine is accessed by coming into the present moment, the here-and-now. There are two approaches that come to mind for coming into the present moment. One, perhaps more commonly understood, is accessed in a meditative state, in which we are not picking out one thing any more than any other thing, and are allowing all experience to come in. It is a non-choosing. And we dispassionately float there in that state. Inspiration can be accessed that way.

The other form of coming into the present moment interests me more, and seems to have to do with what I'm here to participate in bringing in. And that has to do with accessing the heart of the matter in any particular moment, which is often accessed when we become aware of what really matters to us in that moment, and is where the energy is alive. And it is oddly difficult to do. It would seem that one could get to the heart of the matter fairly easily, since that is what the obvious issue at any moment is.

But often our conscious and unconscious minds cause all kinds of distractions and emotional defense systems, diverting us from the living moment, particularly in the areas in which we have made limiting decisions*. The job of our defense systems is to avoid experiencing what the truth is in the areas of these decisions. This is because when we made limiting decisions we decided that the truth about ourselves and life, in those areas, is unbearably negative -- such as decisions that we are unlovable or bad, or that the world requires constant struggle. And so we keep ourselves from being conscious and present in those areas of experience so as to never really find out what the truth is. Since we are separated from those areas of experience, we are also cut off from what matters most to us there, such as receiving love or being at ease in the world.

Moving through that to what is true in the living moment, where the heart of the matter resides, is where our whole experience of reality has the potential to radically shift. Coming into this pivotal, transformational place opens up what matters most to us. That is where our limited and distorted experiences of reality can be realigned to Divine truth. It is where the Divine can be accessed. It moves us toward our highest and truest intentions, which then connects us with Divine intention.

*Limiting decisions are unconscious decisions made in early childhood, which result in dysfunctional patterns.

Jane Ilene Cohen is an Intuitive and Transformational Counselor, specializing in relationships. She certified as an NLP & TimeLine Therapy Master Practitioner, and comes from a spiritual foundation that includes A Course in Miracles and the Abraham-Hicks work, among other influences. She has a private counseling practice in Encinitas, CA where she works with couples and individuals, and facilitates transformational groups. She also does phone counseling sessions.

Her current group is called "Getting to What Matters," a weekly group experience that focuses on moving through the defense systems that keep you from accessing what matters most to you in your life. The group process brings out into the open and transforms participants' defense systems, through dynamic and authentic group relating, which reveals the emotional truth under the surface. You can see a flier for this group at: http://www.janecohen.net/groups-gettingto.html

Spirituality is a Long Marathon

Many people want spiritual life to be very easy. They want to be with a guru for few years and then start their own dabba of spiritual life. I know a person who grows long hair, walk with out slippers, wear khaddi clothes, will drink milk and think he is spiritual. There is nothing wrong in doing it. But in the office he is like a politician who screw’s up people’s life. The moment his work is finished there is no sense of gratitude in him. He will sleep with available women. He wants to start an ashram and be the next modern guru.

Most of the modern guru do not stress on practice or conduct. The reason is these two will put many people in lot of difficulties. Suppose some one were to sit for 3 hours every day for meditation, will he /she have time for any thing else in life. Definitely no. It will become boring after a point. Most people use meditation as a stress buster, which helps them to relax. It is also an escape from the dark realities of life.

When rishis and munis took years and years of tapasaya to attain god how come with just so called understanding and with just listening to discourse one can reach god? For example Olympic champions take minimum 8 – 10 years of practice to win a medal. How come attaining god is much easier than drinking coffee.

Spirituality is a marathon and few only survive the whimps of time. Many people shifted their job or place and with that spiritual life got over. Many people changed the so called practice it was over. The change of conduct and reflection will make us aware how we can screw up our own happiness.

Any way if you can meditate for 3 hours for next 108 days in one way or the other then you can say that you are in spiritual line. Other wise just do not waste time in calling your self spiritual. People compare themselves their guru with yogananda or yukeswar giri etc. These people had very less disciples. Hardly 10 –12. Even in their best time it was less than 100.

Real spiritual life is like doing PhD. very few people can go up to the level and very few people will get a good guide and in that very few get a noble prize.

Many of the so called siddhas have meditated in the caves for more 12 years 30 years etc. there fore to think realization with out practice only few spiritual genius can attain. For ordinary people it is path of hard work and persistence.

By Chennai Based K.B.Golpalakrishnan

My reflection upon Spiritual World

I as well as the whole of human kind always raise eternal questions of what does it mean this thing love, where does happiness begin, what am I, what is my real nature. Here it is an endeavor to give answers. Our hearts strive to find this very paradise, the place where our spirits are in harmony with themselves and with the whole Universe.

Each of us begins with our human body conception and birth and each breath is a real miracle. It is a precious gift. Now I want to understand this important mission of the human kind. When I start to consider upon this, all my thoughts turn towards God as the creator; to tell you the truth I do not know who he is, but want to understand it. Orthodox and Catholics call him God, Muslims- Allah, Asia- Buddha. I see him as the Light of the Truth and Pure Energy. Also I turn to my soul or spirit as the projection of his, the Divine one. In order to perform this thinking I need absolute, deep and firm belief, based on full cognition. In addition to this faith there is a need of a meditative state. I want to calm all my vanity, so I can catch the moment in hands. Some religions call them prayers, some meditations. It is just matter of language, we hope for day to come when all people speak one and the same language- they all will call God in one and the same word. And if I calm myself, then I will have an opportunity to activate my intuition thus I can be myself. I can look inside me, into my inner, spiritual world. Thus I will hear the melody of my heart. As what is inside the same is outside, up the same is down. Close your eyes, look at your solar plexus and see what you feel there. If it is love- be all love, if it is hate- be all hate, happiness- be all happiness, anger- be all anger. Do not be ashamed to express your feelings, just become completely one with this feeling. Thus you are yourself. Thus you are free. This is a uniqueness of your being as a person on this Earth. You come into this world like tabula rasa, white sheet, nothing is written on it. You are free to do as you wish. It is your creation. Freedom is your essence, it is your spirit. If you deny your freedom, you deny all treasure and become mendicant. If you accept your freedom, your life turns into an adventure, a discovery. You discover love. When you meet love, your life regains purpose and poetry. Not knowing love, you are not able to dance, celebrate, be grateful or pray. Love is in high sky. To love means to live in the clouds.

Where is your Paradise? One wise man stated- it is right here. Do not go far away – as it is near, just open your eyes, awake from your sleep and see what surrounds you- this is your Paradise, when you know people, understand their thoughts, share your feelings – this world is called Paradise. Open your soul to the miracle, to the simple and natural miracle, just be happy when you open your eyes in the morning and see the shining Sun out of your window. Every new day is like a new start.

Women in the early Buddhism

Patriarchal Indian society pointed the advantage of a man towards a woman during the process of Pali canon establishment (4-2 B.C.). Humiliated status of woman was confirmed in Brahmanic literature. Is enough to recall a famous Manu `s saying: “Day and night a woman must depend on her men… Father guards her in the childhood, husband – during her youth, sons- in her old age. A woman is not able to be independent and self-sufficient (Manu, 9. 2-3). Religious necessities of a woman in orthodox Brahmanism were not taking into account too. Women on a level with Shudras were prohibited from listening and studying Vedas, performing rites, fasts or vows on their own. The main religious duty of the woman consisted in service to her husband. “Husband, even alien to virtue, dissipated or lacking of positive character qualities must be worshiped as God. “ (Manu, 5. 154).

Early Buddhism demonstrates rather different approach towards a woman. Buddha declared that there was no any difference between a man and a woman to achieve lucid moment provided that they take the monastic vow or take the veil. In compliance with it Buddha established female monastic society. Mahapradjapati was the head of this society, Buddha’s aunt - she was like a mother to him. However joining sangha a woman should follow several additional conditions. They are known as “Eight rules” (garu-dhamma) and are as follows:

1. A nun being in monasticism for 100 years must show her respect to a monk even if he has just got monastic vow.

2. Nuns are prohibited to hold “summer suspension” during rain season in the place without monks.

3. Every two weeks nuns must visit monks commune to hold uposatha ceremony (general monk meeting) as well as get instructions and perceptions from them.

4. Once the “summer suspension” is over – nuns should take part into a special meeting of both communes devoted to the discussions about monks as well as nuns behaviour.

5. A nun that breached her duty (a heavy mistake) must be punished during two weeks in both communities: male community and female one. (Monk’s term of punishment lasts for 6 days and is performed only in male community.)

6. Before taking the veil a woman has to go through the probation period for 2 years and only after that the initiation takes place in the both communities. For a monk no need in any trial period and the consecration is held only in the male community.

7. A nun ought not to insult or reproach a monk, even indirectly.

8. A monk has the right to teach a nun, but a nun should not give any piece of advice to a monk.

The 10^th Chulavagga chapter contains this story about the foundation of the woman’s sangha as well as these 8 supplementary rules. These rules are formulated rather categorical: “these rules must be respected, followed and not broken”. Though, we must take the notice that all those rules are included in the ordinary nuns` laws (Bhikkhuni-Patimokkha). And there they are treated as slight violations that are atoned by a simple admission of guilt. Nunneries were really under the protection of male monasteries, because this patronage was necessary for defending from robbers and violators (such cases are often mentioned in the canon).

To know or not to know. The awakening.

Neale Donald Walsch given some tips.