10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

What's Your Dream?

Everyone has a dream. Dreams are not reserved for super-achievers or those who have plenty of money and time to pursue them. Everyone has a dream. How can you tell? Listen to you heart - it's there. It's speaking to you all the time. It wants you to make It come true. It stays in the back of your mind when you're thinking about the next thing on your list of must-do's. It haunts your daydreams and mystifies your night dreams. It catches your eye when you hear It in a song, see It in a headline, or feel It whispered in the longing of your heart.

What is It? It is your Dream - your personal, heartfelt wish that you long to do, accomplish, or acquire. It can be anything under the sun. But you may have made excuses for not pursuing It. Why? Maybe you think It takes too much money, you don't have enough time, no one will believe in It for or with you. But you know what? The Truth of the matter is that You CAN make your Dream come true! You will never be satisfied unless you're pursuing your Dream in some way, shape, or form. Just look at those around you who seem to be living the perfect life. You know why? It's because they are living their Dreams, pursuing that "It" that speaks to their hearts in the still of the night. You can, too. You can start right now, today, going after that secret desire of your heart. Here are a few tips for claiming your right to your Dreams:

1. Believe in yourself. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND AND HEART ON! Yes, you can! Do not allow anyone to tell you no when pursuing the Dreams of your heart. Think you're not smart enough? Get an education! Read up on the subject - learn all you can! You don't have to go to school to start learning about something special to you. Listen to your Self Talk. What is that? It's what you say to yourself over and over all day every day. Do you limit yourself? Or do you encourage yourself? Talk to yourself every day and tell yourself, "Yes! I claim this day to be a day of growth and change for me! I can do anything I set my mind on! I am smart enough and deserving enough to go after my dreams! I begin today to takes the steps needed to make my Dream a reality!"

2. Don't know exactly what your Dream is? Start identifying It now! Perhaps It's vague, hiding in the shadows of your heart because you have not allowed It to reveal Itself. Daily stresses and self-doubt make it easy for our Dreams to be reclusive, but they are still there, and if you take the time to start listening, feeling, observing, It will start to reveal Itself. Start keeping a journal just for yourself. Find a few minutes a day to enjoy quiet reflection (yes, you can find ten minutes - just turn off the radio, TV, or spend a few extra moments in the shower, or utilize those minutes waiting in traffic or lines at the grocery store). Carry a small notebook with you to write down ideas as they occur - you think you may remember them later, but sometimes they go back into hiding! Give yourself permission to think about your Dream.

3. As the saying goes, Rome wasn't built in a day. And most likely, your Dream won't be manifested in one day. This means you start taking steps toward your Dream, no matter how small they are. Every step is important and every step is a learning process for you to be able to accept and live your Dream when it is revealed. Maybe your Dream is not one thing that can be contained, but rather a way of living or thinking that is ongoing. Start NOW to be the person who has made her Dreams come true! Think like It's coming true! Act like It's coming true! Breathe It! See It! Smell It! Taste It! Touch It! Make It so real in your mind that It has no choice but to come true! Yes! Your Dream can come true! You have to believe in It as much as It believes in You!

4. Action required! You have identified your Dream. You wonder where It is. When will It come true? It is important, once you have identified your Dream and begun to give mental attention to It, that you put Action behind your thoughts. Do something every day that will help your Dream move closer to your reality. Read about It, research the Internet about It. Network It. Find someone who has It or is doing It and talk to them about It. Pursue your Dream with gusto and It will meet you halfway!

5. Best Intentions, Please! "With the highest good for all concerned" is a tagline often added to prayers or affirmations when seeking to align with our Greater Good. To be happiest, realizing real Dreams will not require you to treat anyone badly or purposely hurt another in your pursuit. You can still fulfill your daily obligations and go after your Dreams without too much sacrifice (unless you're unwilling to sacrifice those two hours of TV at night in lieu of reading or taking a class that will help you get closer to your Dream). When you are on track, you will also be helping others achieve their Dreams, resulting in a Win-Win result.

6. Adequate supply? Is there enough to go around? Absolutely! The Universe is an Abundant place overflowing with supply! If you think differently, then you will need to look at your thinking in that regard - limit your thinking and you limit your supply. Expand your thinking and know that you are deserving to receive, and your avenues of supply will open up, making it even easier for your Dream to come into Reality.

A few steps a day can help you go a long way on the road to realizing your Dreams. You know they are real when they won't go away, won't stop speaking to your Heart, when you ache to make them come true. These kinds of Dreams are put into us by our Creator and are meant to come true if we will but follow our own Star of Grace, and open ourselves up to all the goodness there is here for us right now! You can do It! I know you can! Go for it!

(Note: these concepts are included in the process of "Blessings by Divine Design"© (formerly known as "Mental Mapping"©), created by the author. This is a three-part process that will help you identify and manifest your heart's desires. All that's needed is your Will, Determination, Commitment, and focused Action, and your Dreams can come true! For more information, please contact the author.)

Barbara Callahan Quin writes about spiritual and inspirational topics; she provides a thought for the day through Encourage Today! e-mail subscription. Her goal is to help others realize their direct connection to and relationship with Spirit and that their dreams are possible! You are invited to visit her at: http://www.heartlandprayer.blogspot.com and at http://www.geocities.com/spiritheartcreations

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