10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Friday, February 22, 2008

My reflection upon Spiritual World

I as well as the whole of human kind always raise eternal questions of what does it mean this thing love, where does happiness begin, what am I, what is my real nature. Here it is an endeavor to give answers. Our hearts strive to find this very paradise, the place where our spirits are in harmony with themselves and with the whole Universe.

Each of us begins with our human body conception and birth and each breath is a real miracle. It is a precious gift. Now I want to understand this important mission of the human kind. When I start to consider upon this, all my thoughts turn towards God as the creator; to tell you the truth I do not know who he is, but want to understand it. Orthodox and Catholics call him God, Muslims- Allah, Asia- Buddha. I see him as the Light of the Truth and Pure Energy. Also I turn to my soul or spirit as the projection of his, the Divine one. In order to perform this thinking I need absolute, deep and firm belief, based on full cognition. In addition to this faith there is a need of a meditative state. I want to calm all my vanity, so I can catch the moment in hands. Some religions call them prayers, some meditations. It is just matter of language, we hope for day to come when all people speak one and the same language- they all will call God in one and the same word. And if I calm myself, then I will have an opportunity to activate my intuition thus I can be myself. I can look inside me, into my inner, spiritual world. Thus I will hear the melody of my heart. As what is inside the same is outside, up the same is down. Close your eyes, look at your solar plexus and see what you feel there. If it is love- be all love, if it is hate- be all hate, happiness- be all happiness, anger- be all anger. Do not be ashamed to express your feelings, just become completely one with this feeling. Thus you are yourself. Thus you are free. This is a uniqueness of your being as a person on this Earth. You come into this world like tabula rasa, white sheet, nothing is written on it. You are free to do as you wish. It is your creation. Freedom is your essence, it is your spirit. If you deny your freedom, you deny all treasure and become mendicant. If you accept your freedom, your life turns into an adventure, a discovery. You discover love. When you meet love, your life regains purpose and poetry. Not knowing love, you are not able to dance, celebrate, be grateful or pray. Love is in high sky. To love means to live in the clouds.

Where is your Paradise? One wise man stated- it is right here. Do not go far away – as it is near, just open your eyes, awake from your sleep and see what surrounds you- this is your Paradise, when you know people, understand their thoughts, share your feelings – this world is called Paradise. Open your soul to the miracle, to the simple and natural miracle, just be happy when you open your eyes in the morning and see the shining Sun out of your window. Every new day is like a new start.

1 comment:

Fabio said...

You know, I think just like you. Although I'm a Spiritism supporter, I don't agree with all its "teachings". I believe in all Jesus words, but about spiritual life I believe in things quite like you. I have been through many different religions, and here in Brazil there are quite a few, and all of them teach the same things, just using different names. I just don't like the ones to claim to be the only true religion, the one who knows it all, the one that's good and all other are evil.