10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Thursday, February 21, 2008

Women in the early Buddhism

Patriarchal Indian society pointed the advantage of a man towards a woman during the process of Pali canon establishment (4-2 B.C.). Humiliated status of woman was confirmed in Brahmanic literature. Is enough to recall a famous Manu `s saying: “Day and night a woman must depend on her men… Father guards her in the childhood, husband – during her youth, sons- in her old age. A woman is not able to be independent and self-sufficient (Manu, 9. 2-3). Religious necessities of a woman in orthodox Brahmanism were not taking into account too. Women on a level with Shudras were prohibited from listening and studying Vedas, performing rites, fasts or vows on their own. The main religious duty of the woman consisted in service to her husband. “Husband, even alien to virtue, dissipated or lacking of positive character qualities must be worshiped as God. “ (Manu, 5. 154).

Early Buddhism demonstrates rather different approach towards a woman. Buddha declared that there was no any difference between a man and a woman to achieve lucid moment provided that they take the monastic vow or take the veil. In compliance with it Buddha established female monastic society. Mahapradjapati was the head of this society, Buddha’s aunt - she was like a mother to him. However joining sangha a woman should follow several additional conditions. They are known as “Eight rules
(garu-dhamma) and are as follows:

  1. A nun being in monasticism for 100 years must show her respect to a monk even if he has just got monastic vow.

  1. Nuns are prohibited to hold “summer suspension” during rain season in the place without monks.

  1. Every two weeks nuns must visit monks commune to hold uposatha ceremony (general monk meeting) as well as get instructions and perceptions from them.

  1. Once the “summer suspension” is over – nuns should take part into a special meeting of both communes devoted to the discussions about monks as well as nuns behaviour.

  1. A nun that breached her duty (a heavy mistake) must be punished during two weeks in both communities: male community and female one. (Monk’s term of punishment lasts for 6 days and is performed only in male community.)

  1. Before taking the veil a woman has to go through the probation period for 2 years and only after that the initiation takes place in the both communities. For a monk no need in any trial period and the consecration is held only in the male community.

  1. A nun ought not to insult or reproach a monk, even indirectly.

  1. A monk has the right to teach a nun, but a nun should not give any piece of advice to a monk.

The 10th Chulavagga chapter contains this story about the foundation of the woman’s sangha as well as these 8 supplementary rules. These rules are formulated rather categorical: “these rules must be respected, followed and not broken”. Though, we must take the notice that all those rules are included in the ordinary nuns` laws (Bhikkhuni-Patimokkha). And there they are treated as slight violations that are atoned by a simple admission of guilt. Nunneries were really under the protection of male monasteries, because this patronage was necessary for defending from robbers and violators (such cases are often mentioned in the canon).

1 comment:

wildfxp said...

I didn't know about these type of rules before and I thank you for explaining. I somewhat follow the Chinese Buddhism, but I'm not fully into it.