10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice


I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.



There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:



1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.



2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.



3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.



4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”



Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:




  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.



  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!



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Monday, March 24, 2008

3 Steps To Reclaiming Your Power and Happiness

Reclaiming your power and happiness can be accomplished easily, bringing joy, excitement and energy back to your body and life. Our power is gained when we speak the truth. To really be free and happy, we are called to speak the truth. Words are more important than we realize. In Jesus' original teachings, the word is creation itself. Just think how we create with the words we speak. What are we saying all day long, and how are these words creating in our life.

Speaking the truth can be challenging at times. Often, we are afraid of being rejected if we really let others know how we feel. Fear of hurting someone's feelings is often what stops us from speaking the truth. We may also be afraid of starting an argument if we speak the truth.

Unfortunately, when we don't speak the truth, we unconsciously create manipulative ways of dealing with our unexpressed emotions. We find ourselves saying or doing things that are not really our truth. In this way, we betray ourselves. Then, we will notice that depression is often the result of not speaking what we feel and think. Withholding our feelings leads to separation or distancing from others. We cannot experience the closeness and warmness that we truly desire. Often, we blame ourselves or the others for the lack of communication and guilt may be the result. We may find ourselves being angry and becoming agitated. All of this can be corrected easily when we are willing to step forward and speak the truth.

3 Steps to Regain Your Power and Happiness

First Step: Begin to notice where in your life you are holding back from expressing your feelings and thoughts. Where are you holding back from asking for what you want? Now, get a notebook and begin to write your thoughts and feelings in great detail. In your journal, ask for what you want and then write why you think you deserve to have what you want. During this process you will get to know yourself very deeply and discover why you feel scared, frustrated, powerless and unhappy. In this process you begin to untangle all the built up emotions that get us bogged down and suddenly you have lost your joy.

Second Step: The next step will open your voice and your heart up. It will empower you. Your happiness will begin to rise up the scale as well as your self worth, which is directly related to your sense of power. When you are ready, go to a very private place; maybe this is your car with the windows rolled up. In your safe, private place begin to speak your thoughts and feelings to the universe, to the person who you have been withholding your feelings from. Speak as much of your true feelings out loud. This will get you in touch with the deep self. Next, surrender any hurt, anger, fear or resentment. Once you are clear of these emotions, your communications will be filled with a new energy.

Third Step: You are now ready to speak the truth and reclaim your power. There is no blaming in this communication because you are clear and have taken responsibility for your feelings and surrendered them to your Sacred Energy. You have been purified and now you will be empowering yourself by speaking the truth about your feelings and needs in a deep and profound way. The power you gain is the power of love. Remember the truth will set your free.

For more exciting tips on how to live from the center of your being using your Sacred Energy to create a life of joy, peace and love go to http://www.VirginiaEllen.net Virginia Ellen is an author and mystical teacher and healer.

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