10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

Popular content

Monday, March 17, 2008

Kannon- is the Buddhist Ideal of Beauty

Terrible Dakini Naro appearance is not a bad sign at all. Dakini fight against laziness, stupidity and ignorance of this world. Of course a European can feel dismay of such a horrifying image of Dakini. Of course her ferocious look and decoration of skulls point on warlike spirit and character, but I repeat once more, as they do not make any harm to people. On the contrary, they are ready to help Buddhism adherents and let them into deep secrets of dharma. Well, once Dakini passed spirit of knowledge to one ascetic as he attained perfection. And this ascetic established her cult.

Dakini are faithful to Buddhism. Image of a severe, menacing, wise and beautiful fighter for the faith is not usual for the European mentality, but it is rather perfect and harmonious for the Buddhist one.

We must remind you that inner world as well as appearance or image of a Buddhist woman is really unusual to a European way of thinking. These characteristic features arise from Indian canons of Beauty those are far away from the modern model business. Female canon of Buddhist Beauty has a great and deep history and there are 18 categories for attractiveness. They are included, among those: chunky bottom of the body, belly with three folds of fat…So, lucky holders of these characteristics may forget about overweight as well as diets and be proud as they fit the Buddhist Ideal of Beauty.

Traditionally in our frame of mind Tibetan Buddhism is associated with Dalai Lama image. For our story it is important fact that Dalai Lama is considered by Buddhists as reincarnation of Bodhisattva –Avalokiteshvara that represents compassion. Bodhisattva personifies total compassion, and because of this compassion upon all living creatures Bodhisattva rejected an opportunity to achieve Nirvana. Bodhisattva again and again comes back to the World of Suffering in order to that all people find finally salvation. There are lots of images and names for Bodhisattva in different countries. I do not know whether you will be surprised, but in Japan Avalokiteshvara is esteemed in female image under the name of Kannon.

Kannon – is a merciful Mediatress, every human being can ask for help. She is one of the popular Japan Gods in Buddhist mythology. She appears with thousands of hands and of many faces. She needs thousands of hands to save sinners. Her many faces have a motivating meaning too: three compassionate faces, turned towards well-wishing creatures; three angry faces- towards malevolent creatures; three sharp-toothed faces, appealing to take to way of Buddhism and a smiling face. Kannon laugh means a conscious understanding of worldly vanity. Thus, we may say that Kannon personifies an infinite mercy and demonstrates deep knowledge of human nature. She comes to an old man in the old man image, to a woman – in the woman image, to a monk- in the monk image. And none of the believers are embarrassed of her greatness and power.

Finishing our short acquaintance with the female images in Buddhist mythology, we would like to draw your attention to that, in spite of the difference between Buddhism and Europe regarding Beauty, Good etc (as all these religions have different cultural and traditional basis), if we observe closely into threatening, frightening, at times sharp-toothed faces, we will see that wisdom, irreconcilability to evil and willingness to compassion.

No comments: