10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Monday, March 17, 2008

New view of science supports spirituality

Do you see a conflict between science and spirituality?" my friend asked.

The question points to our tendency to believe that we can, in a scientific sense, be neutral, impartial observers; that life consists of opposites rather than inclusive, complementary values. That the workings of the universe can be broken down into neat, efficient units and understood in exact terms.

Yet, historically, this separation of science and spirituality is a relatively new concept. For much of human history, science and philosophy were considered to be one pursuit.

Intrinsically we are all scientists and philosophers. Our search for meaning is part of our essence and existence as human beings. We explore, discover and invent meaning in the events and experiences of our daily lives.

The new view of science does not conflict with but supports spirituality. Quantum theory and the corresponding Uncertainty Principle imply that it is impossible to isolate the observer from the observed. Objective reality contains an infinite array of differing potentialities. The universe is far more mysterious than our senses commonly perceive.

Quantum theory raises questions about how we perceive and understand reality. It is also a powerful metaphor. It invites us to transcend an experience of life based on the immediacy of our rational sense-perception observations. It opens us to realms of mystery and imagination.

While it may seem that science and its corresponding discoveries and explanations impinge on the sacred, what modern science has shown is that the deeper we are able to probe the workings of nature, the more mysterious we behold the universe.

Instead of being limited by mechanical actions of cause and effect, in both science and social behavior we discover that life operates within the context of relational interaction.

Quantum theory tells us that it's a participatory world. Not only is the observer involved in any observation, they actually bring about what is being observed. We see what we choose to see, and therefore we are co-creators of our own reality. Whatever qualities we choose to see we call forth, effectively changing our experience of the world.

We see what we expect and we expect what we invite.

Is there a conflict between science and spirituality? The question itself is paradoxical, for it points as much toward a reality that is fundamental, essential and true as it does to our experience of reality, which is influenced by our choice. If we choose to expect that science and spirituality will conflict, that's what we will see. However, if we choose to see the interconnection and relatedness of all of life, that will be our observed reality.

At its heart, quantum theory tells us that life is a participatory, interrelated experience. How we define it is how we will see it and behave toward it and ultimately experience it.

All of life is spiritual, sacred and mysterious. The more we embrace the mystery, the more we behold the majesty and miracle inherent in life.

By Jan Waterman

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