10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Spirituality, Enlightenment and Waiting For Your Life To Be Perfect

The idea of enlightenment is as old as mankind’s search for a greater truth behind life. Although the term enlightenment originated in ancient eastern religions, it has almost taken on a life of it’s own in modern spirituality. You may ask yourself ‘what is enlightenment?’ and like most before you, your answer will fall well short of fully encapsulating the totality of it’s meaning. I don’t believe that there are any definitive definitions or explanations for what enlightenment is. But, I do believe that there are many great insights from this profound idea that can help us to better understand that invisible spiritual dimension of life.

The beginning of the 18th century was the start of an era better known as the Age Of Enlightenment – a period of time in history that is characterized by a global shift in thinking. Essentially, The Age Of Enlightenment took mankind out of the ‘dark ages’ where the state and the church had a monopoly on ‘knowledge’ and they controlled what people were allowed to believe.

Along with many great scientific discoveries (of which Newton’s laws were one of the most significant) a new intellectual awareness compelled ‘ordinary’ people to start thinking and exploring life for themselves. It’s as if people’s mind were opened to a whole new world. They started to turn their attention inwards instead of looking to the church to tell them what to think and believe. This global shift in thinking was the birth of our modern world; a world were we can explore life for ourselves and learn to command our own thoughts and direct our own consciousness.

What took mankind out of the dark ages and into ‘the light’ was knowledge and learning to look past dogma and convention. Hence the name The Age Of Enlightenment because it refers to the idea of casting a light unto what was previously dark.Have you ever tried finding your way in a dark room? You feel hopeless, uncertain and lost. This is how many people feel in their everyday lives – as if they are living in a spiritual darkness. In this sense the idea of enlightenment can be a great insight for you. Enlightenment is nothing but turning on your own inner light to help you ‘see’. This seeing is not sight as we’ve all come to know it but rather an inner sight (or an insight) that goes beyond that of ordinary everyday perception.

Many people think of enlightenment as a ‘goal’ – as a state of awareness to reach by following certain spiritual practices and when they eventually reach this goal their entire life will be blissful and without any problems. The truth is that this is impossible, for the very nature of our consciousness is for it to expand and enlightenment is about the unfolding of your spirit by expanding your awareness.

This inner light that helps us to perceive things in greater truth will not change our outer world as much as it will change our inner world. It’s an inner realization that will help you to change the filter through which you perceive and experience everything in life. Enlightenment is not an attainment, but a realization. Once you reach this realization nothing will change, yet everything will change. You will find that even though the world hasn’t change it appears as if it has because you see it anew.

We all spend much of our lives working towards the attainment of an ideal state of mind; a state of mind where we are happy, where we feel peaceful and where we feel that our lives are meaningful. Many think of enlightenment as this ‘ideal’ state of mind. But, life is never fixed in time and enlightenment is about allowing your spirit to grow into this life by expanding your awareness of who you really are. Enlightenment is that inner light that gets switched on through inner wisdom. It allows you to see past the illusion of your sensory experiences of life and to see in ever greater clarity that divine part of who you really are.

By Illumen

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