10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Thursday, March 20, 2008

Spirituality springs eternal

This year marks the 50th anniversary of the opening of Covington's Garden of Hope. Less than 10 minutes from downtown Cincinnati, it's an outdoor sanctuary featuring a replica of the tomb of Jesus in Jerusalem, which is believed to be Christ's burial chamber.

It's a great place to visit for a sense of peace and spirituality, regardless of one's beliefs; a non-denominational, memorial park where you can touch faith.

"It's a blessing to anyone who ever goes there," says Rose Northcutt, of Fort Wright, who serves as trustee, treasurer and one of the garden's tours guides. "When you go there, it's like being in Jerusalem because of the way everything looks and the scenic view."

The Rev. Morris Coers was inspired to bring a piece of the Holy Land to Kentucky after his trip to Jerusalem in 1938. Solomon Mattar, the caretaker of the original tomb in Jerusalem, helped oversee its construction.

Set on a 2.5-acre plot of land, the inspirational attraction is like a lovely abandoned garden. It's in disrepair, with fallen leaves strewn about and loose stones among the paths. But this doesn't take away from the garden's beauty or the serenity it offers.

A winding stone path, which goes up the front of the hill, serves as the garden's original main entrance. But some of the stone steps are loose here, so it's easier to enter directly from the parking lot.

The carpenter's shop, modeled after St. Joseph's shop, is a small stone structure that sits at the front of the garden. It contains more than a dozen historic tools - some dating to 500 years - from the Holy Land, donated by Israeli Prime Minister David Ben Gurion. The upstairs is currently being renovated.

Just beyond the shop is an Italian marble statue of Christ's Sermon on the Mount, with a simple, 30-foot wooden cross standing behind it.

A short walk away from the statue lays the garden's tomb - a replica of the tomb of Jesus Christ. If you stand back while facing the tomb, you can see the statue of Christ and the cross beyond it, as if both are hovering above the tomb.

The garden's third structure is the Chapel of Dreams, a stone chapel based on the design of a 17th century Spanish mission. Outside, above its large wooden door there are three bells, which are rung after the garden's somewhat infrequent weddings.

Throughout the garden, there are several relic stones displayed in decorative wrought iron cages that sit atop small stone pillars - a stone from the River Jordan and another from the Good Samaritan Inn.

In recent years, the Garden of Hope church and its volunteers, who operate and look after the garden, have struggled to keep it open. Vandalism is also a costly problem.

The small Southern Baptist congregation has been using the carpenter's shop for church services for four years.

"We're getting it back to where it was 50 years ago...to restore it to its original beauty. It was neglected for a long time," says Rev. Ed Kirkwood of Ludlow, pastor of the congregation formerly known as Immanuel Baptist Church, which owns the property.

Wooden benches are placed throughout. Plants in the garden include a Juniper Sargenti tree, which is the Algum tree referred to in 11 Chronicles 2:8.

Open since 1958, the garden sits on a hilltop along side the cut-in-the-hill on I-75, offering a majestic view of Covington and downtown. Even with the sounds of the nearby highway, the garden is serene.

"We're looking to (make expansions), such as building an inspirational gazebo for weddings and quiet reflection," says Kirkwood.


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