10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Monday, March 10, 2008

White Tara and Green Tara

Due to our European mentality we have a stable view regarding religious, mythological or fairy- tale female images. We know for sure that a Kind Fairy coming to the aid of the unhappy and giving a piece of advice to the inexperienced must be beautiful, golden-haired and blue-eyed, but a Bad Witch, even pretending to be a beautiful stranger, sooner or later will show her real repulsive appearance with off-kilter nose and buck-teeth under the cover. Though we admit that unattractive women possess some wisdom, for example Tsarevitch Ivan (of Russian fairy tales) went to take some advice of Baba-Yaga (a witch in Russian folk tales).
So we decided to investigate this connection between the beauty canon and good intentions. In order to find answers to our questions we looked around. Buddhism drew our attention.

White Tara
– only one mention of her name can safe the life of a human being from many misfortunes and troubles.

Are you interested in Buddhism? If yes, do you know Green or White Tara or ferocious Dakini? No? It is unfair. They are loved and estimated by Buddhists of Tibet, Mongolia, Nepal as well as Buryat- Lamaists.
Tara (“saviour”) personifies total and absolute compassion. Her cult is very popular. Tara is known under 21 of names. Visually Tara is distinguished by position of her hands as well as clothes. The most famous images are White Tara and Green Tara. They are gracious hypostasis of Goddess. Tibetan people believed that just one mention of their names can save from any troubles. By the way, do you know that Catherine the Great had been announced incarnation of White Tara by Buryat- Lamaists, and who knows, may be due to this fact Catherine obtained this rank of Great ruler.
Scientists cannot say exactly when and why Tara image was appeared, but under one of the sources we find a nice legend. It says that many, many kalpas ago (one kalpa lasts millions of years) a princess lived and she reached the lucid moment. She was told by monks that she had to born a man next life. But princess rejected this offer, arguing that there were many people who wanted to reach Nirvana in a male image and only a few – who wished to turn femininity into a way of achieving this very Enlightenment. Said and done. After she continued her perfection, finally she appeared before Buddha and swore to deliver all beings from samsara tortures. Samsara – is a closed chain of countless and constant reincarnations. Some of possible reincarnations might seem really alluring to an unenlightened man. For instance, reincarnation in God body seems very attractive, but even it does not stop this chain of sufferings.

White Tara grants us longevity. Are you amazed at seven eyes of Tara? These eyes are eyes of wisdom, projecting stages of cognition and knowledge. She has two usual eyes, one in the middle of the forehead, two in her hands and two in her feet. You may call on her for health, strength, and longevity. Her white colour symbolizes purity as well as the absolute Truth. Green Tara symbolizes Divine energy. She appears as young girl with green skin. Whereas Green Tara is a young girl and has a playful character, White Tara is a mature, wise and full- breasted woman. White Tara seems to help more with longer-term issues, while Green Tara – fast and quick reaction and help. One Green Tara’s leg is still in lotus pose, another one – is getting down off the throne that is signifies Tara’s intention to help people in physical sphere as well as spiritual one. You may ask Tara for all you want and be sure if you believe in it – you get it sooner or later.

1 comment:

New Age Books said...

I've always loved Tara, and felt that She must have some connection with Roman Terra, goddess of Earth. This was an extremely informative article...as a student of Eastern Philosphy, much of this is news to me. Great article!