10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Thursday, April 17, 2008

FAQs about Buddhism

Buddhism has about 300 million followers around

the world. The word comes from the Pali and Sanskrit word "budhi,'' meaning "to awaken.''

Buddhism's origins came about 2,500 years ago when Siddhartha Gotama, known as the Buddha, was awakened, or enlightened, at the age of 35.

Here are some frequently asked questions about Buddhism.

Q: Is it a religion?

A: To many, Buddhism goes beyond religion and is more of a philosophy or "way of life.'' It is a philosophy because philosophy means "love of wisdom.'' The Buddhist path can be summed up as:

  • To lead a moral life.
  • To be mindful and aware of thoughts and actions.
  • To develop wisdom and understanding.

Q: Who was the Buddha?

A: Siddhartha Gotama was born into a royal family in Lumbini, now located in Nepal, in 563 B.C.

At the age of 29, he realized that wealth and luxury did not guarantee happiness. He explored the different teachings, religions and philosophies of the day to find the key to human happiness.

After six years of study and meditation, he finally found "the middle path'' and was enlightened. After enlightenment, the Buddha spent the rest of his life teaching the principles of Buddhism - called the Dhamma, or Truth - until his death at the age of 80.

Q: Was the Buddha a god?

A: No. Buddhists say he was a man who taught a path to enlightenment from his own experience.

Q: Do Buddhists worship idols?

A: Buddhists sometimes pay respect to images of the Buddha, but not in worship, nor to ask for favors.

A statue of the Buddha with hands rested gently in his lap and a compassionate smile reminds followers to strive to develop peace and love within themselves. Bowing to the statue is an expression of gratitude for the teaching.

Q: Why are there different types of Buddhism?

A: There are many different types because the emphasis of Buddhism changes from country to country due to customs and culture. What does not vary is the essence of the teaching - the Dhamma or truth. Two main forms are Tibetan Buddhism, which is led by the Dalai Lama, and Indian Buddhism.

Q: What did the Buddha teach?

A: The Buddha taught many things, but the basic concepts in Buddhism can be summed up by the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eight-fold Path.

The first Truth is that life is suffering; life includes pain, aging, disease and ultimately death. The second Truth is that suffering is caused by craving and aversion. The third Truth is that suffering can be overcome and happiness can be attained by giving up useless craving and learning to live each day at a time.

The fourth Truth is that the Noble Eight-fold Path leads to the end of suffering. In summary, the Noble Eight-fold Path consists of being moral, focusing one's mind on being fully aware of one's thoughts and actions, and developing wisdom by understanding the Four Noble Truths and by developing compassion for others.

Jo Collins Mathis,

From: Ann Arbor News

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