10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Unique religious life lives on in Tibet

Thirty-five-year-old Dawa works hard at balancing the demands of his centuries-old faith and holding down a career as an IT technician at a local news website in the heart of Lhasa.

He considers Buddhism to be more in his "blood" than in the "rituals". "I accompany my family to the shrines on important festivals, but I don't have enough time to circle the shrines every day. We young people have to find better jobs and create wealth for a better society, as is the case in any corner of the world."

Dawa finished his studies in different cities across China: primary school in Lhasa, middle school in southwestern Chongqing, high school in Beijing and university in the northwestern Xi'an.

His Tibetan culture remained with him throughout. "Even the time for our marriage ceremony was decided by the monks through augury. Buddhism is the backbone. It's omnipresent in our culture and life."

He chats with friends across the country through MSN: "Many of my friends worry about us due to the latest riots in Lhasa on March 14 and March 15."

Dawa is typical of his generation of Tibetans, according to Zheng Dui, director of the Religious Study Institute under the China Tibetology Research Center.

"Tibetans care more for the next life than this life. They worship Buddha in this life to achieve happiness in the next," says Zheng. "The older they grow, the more pious they become. Someold Tibetans never stop rolling their prayer wheels except for sleeping and eating."

Yangjain, 48, a small snack shop owner in Lhasa, prays every morning from the moment she gets up. She fetches the first bucket of water from water tap to change the bowls of water presented before the Buddha statues in her home. "The first clean water everyday should be dedicated to Buddha to show our endless respect to the divine," she says.

Many devout Buddhists in Tibet start their day this way: praying, prostrating themselves before the Buddha statues, changing water, lighting ghee lamps and going to work or circling shrines.

"Buddhism influences are omnipotent in Tibet. The most magnificent building in Tibet must be a temple, the most precious relics must be in temples, and monks are always masters of Tibetan medicines, astronomy and calendar," says Zheng Dui.

On the roads leading to Lhasa, pilgrims can be seen prostrating themselves every step they walk. Cattle hide and canvas clothes and wood plates on the hands protect them from dust and scrapes.

From news.xinhuanet.com

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