10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Thursday, May 22, 2008

A Glimpse of Balkan Spirituality in London

21 May 2008 Kit Fordham’s new exhibition of black-and-white photographs of Orthodox life and worship in the Balkans and Russia casts a fresh eye on an ancient subject, writes Marcus Tanner.

A tall Russian priest cranes his head forward to hear the whispered confession of an old woman at the St Sergius monastery in Moscow; a young man in shorts lights a candle in the coal-black gloom of a church in Budva, Montenegro; a bearded clergyman emerges from beneath an archway at the Rila monastery, Bulgaria; a giant cross leaps into the sky on the outskirts of Skopje, Macedonia.

These are only some of the images of religious life in the Balkans and Russia captured by British photographer Kit Fordham, who has embarked on a mission to portray the spirit and spirituality of the Orthodox world.

His exhibition, “Eastern Soul: A Photographic Odyssey through Russia and the Balkans”, opened at the Pushkin House in London on Tuesday.

Fordham is no conventionally devout Christian. “I’m not even baptised,” he says. But he makes no bones about his fascination with the little known and often misunderstood world of Orthodox Europe, and with the way that faith, ritual and tradition continue to exert a powerful impact on society in the Balkans and Russia - not only on headscarved grandmothers and peasants but the young, too.

For many people, he says, it remains “a key anchor in the lives of young and old alike, while life changes round them inordinately”.

Fordham’s journey began five years, he told Balkan Insight, when, after touring Transylvania, he chanced on a little church in the Romanian capital and felt struck both by the otherness of the Orthodox faith and by the intimate role it still played in the life of so many people in the “other” half of Europe.

“Eastern Soul” celebrates only the first part of what Fordham anticipates will be a longer Balkan journey, taking in the holy shrines and churches of Kosovo, among other places.

The use of black and white lends a quality of austerity and stillness to his work, which draws on the influence of Cartier-Bresson, and appears peculiarly well suited to the subject matter – a faith that endeavours above all to remain true to its past in a fast changing environment.

Fordham hopes his work will do more than tease the curiosity of onlookers: “At a time when east-west tensions are on the rise, eastern soul provides a prism through which life in the Slavic east can be viewed”.

“Eastern Soul: A Photographic Odyssey Through Russia and the Balkans” is on show at Pushkin House in London until June 4. All images are for sale. For prices and further information, contact Kit Fordham on: Kitfordham, or Pushkin House

From Balkan in Sight

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