10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

"I am inspired by His Holiness' wisdom and humbleness

NOTTINGHAM, May 27 - As scheduled some months back, His Holiness the Dalai Lama this afternoon attended here the civic reception for him hosted by the Nottinghamshire County Council at the County Hall, where officials and local people lined up to accord a warm reception.

Speaking at the official function attended by senior government officials, staff and invited guests, the Chairman of the Nottinghamshire County Council Joan Taylor said it was a privilege and honour for them to receive the Tibetan Nobel Peace Laureate at the County Hall.

"His Holiness needs no introduction, but it would be remiss of me not to acknowledge his extraordinary attitude and strides to achieve world peace and harmony", Councillor Taylor said, adding that she is "deeply moved and inspired by his wisdom, his humbleness, his humour and his simplicity".

Prior to this, to mark his visit, His Holiness was also invited to plant a tree in the Country Hall premises overlooking the River Trent. Responding to the spontaneous and positive response from the public and officials who had gathered around the tree planting area, His Holiness waved his hands and expressed his appreciation and on seeing a local waving the Tibetan flag, spontaneously recalled how during his visit to China and meeting with Chairman Mao in 1954/55, the Chinese strongman had asked him about the Tibetan flag and told how it was important to keep it. "You have the permission of Chairman Mao to fly this flag", said His Holiness, who was followed by press photographers and reporters.

His Holiness in his remarks made before receiving from the Chairman of the Nottinghamshire County Council the especially designed glassware gift said he appreciated the warm civic reception given to him. He said he was enjoying the natural surroundings of Nottingham city and was pleased to hear sweet sounds of birds chirping. Then to yet another delight of the city staff and others, His Holiness said one reason why the organisers of his visit had chosen Nottingham as the venue of his public talks and teachings is because it was comparatively "cheaper" than several over cities and this had apparently been helpful to many people coming to hear him.

His Holiness devoted two hours each of the morning and afternoon session to the teaching on Je Tsongkhapa's "Praise to the Buddha for His Discourses on Dependent Origination" (tendral toepa). During the teachings, attended mainly by about 5,000 Buddhists from different parts of the UK, Europe and the Americas, His Holiness answered questions from the audience to clarify their doubts or to seek a more pointed response. Answering a question on the controversy surrounding the Shugden worship, His Holiness said the reasons for his discouraging the worship of Shugden is because the practice was degenerating the profound teachings of the Buddha into "spirit worship" as well as coming in the way of his efforts to promote religious harmony and non-sectarianism among the four major schools of Tibetan Buddhism. His Holiness said he as the teacher has advised his disciples from propitiating the Shugden spirit keeping in view the larger interest and well-being of the Tibetan people.

"We Tibetans are passing through a difficult period. But as someone who supports freedom and democracy, I cannot ban anything. So whether they listen or not it is up to them", His Holiness said.

This evening His Holiness gave an audience to about 700 Mongolians that the Mongolian Embassy had arranged through the London Office of Tibet. The Counsellor of the Mongolian Embassy thanked His Holiness for sparing some time for the UK-based Mongolian and the Chairman of the Mongolian Community made a milk offering in accordance to the Mongolian tradition.

His Holiness recalled to the Mongolian audience the age-old historical and religious ties that the people of Mongolia and Tibet had enjoyed. He also said how the Tibetans despite being refugees are still trying to help the Mongolians in imparting knowledge about Buddhism, which had suffered in Mongolia because of their having to live under Russian Communist regime for a long time.

"Mere recitation of mantras is not enough. You must study the Buddhist philosophy and form discussion groups. Buddhism itself is very intelligent and based on logic but due to lack of understanding it may become like blind faith", His Holiness said, adding that the Buddhist concept of "inter-dependence" can also be used in enhancing one's professional field.

According to Mr. Tsering Tashi, the London-based Representative of His Holiness the Dalai Lama, the warmth with which the local people, officials and others have been responding to His Holiness' presence and talks in Nottingham is most encouraging and speaks volumes of how much the Tibetan spiritual and temporal leader is regarded wherever he goes.

"Each time His Holiness enters the auditorium stage at the start of the public talk and teachings and upon leaving, the people have been giving His Holiness standing ovation apparently as a mark of their show of respect and appreciation for his presence and wisdom shared", said Mr. Tsering Tashi, who is also accompanying His Holiness during the Nottingham leg of the visit programme.

On Thursday morning His Holiness will leave for Oxford, where he has been invited to give the keynote address at a seminar on Christian and Buddhist prayers and meditation and a public talk on the wider understanding of Buddhism, besides other engagements.

Yesterday, His Holiness gave an audience to Nottingham City Councillors and officials of the Nottingham Arena, where the five-day public talks and the teachings that began on 24 May are being held. The Chairman of the Nottingham City Council and the Executive Director of the Nottingham Arena thanked His Holiness for agreeing to come to the city and through his visit putting the city on the international map and for generating an atmosphere of spirituality and peace.

Report by Office of Tibet, London

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