10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Friday, May 23, 2008

Italian Professor Combines Spirit and Mind

Riviello believes her spot at Santa Clara came from act of providence

From Italian short stories and poems to conversations about Italian designers and film directors, professor Tonia Caterina Riviello engages her students in their study of the language and shares the lifestyle and culture of her native country with them.

"When I'm teaching, three parts of me come together -- the spirit, mind and heart. I'm very grateful to the students and the university for being what they are," she said.

Riviello writes poetry that expresses her passion for learning and reflects her surroundings, spirituality and her interactions with students.

As a child in Italy, her parents often read and studied, and their emphasis on learning inspired Riviello at a young age.

"Learning was so important in my family. They never had to tell me to study. It was natural for me," she said.

Much of Riviello's education comes from her religious life. The first two words she learned to say after "Mamma" and "Papá" were "religione," religion and "rispetto," respect. Her mother took her to church every day, she said.

When it comes to her teaching philosophy, Riviello strives to engage her students intellectually, spiritually and emotionally. She tries to create an alternate reality with literature to show students how literary worlds can affect their own lives. "I want whatever we learn to teach us something about our lives, to make our lives better," she said.

Riviello finds that literature has the power to teach morals and life lessons.

"I want to have literature as a discovery of self as well as an enriching self experience, to give us another reality and which should become part of us," she said.

While finishing her dissertation in 1983, Riviello heard that Santa Clara was hiring for an Italian assistant professor to fill in for a professor while he was on sabbatical. After an interview in New York at the Modern Languages Association, she came to the university in the winter of 1984.

Riviello fell in love with Santa Clara immediately, especially the Mission Church. She described her first visit as an "epiphany."

She believes that her move to Santa Clara was an act of providence. Riviello was born on Saint Clare's Day, August 11.

"I was praying as I was studying that when I finished, I would be able to teach at Santa Clara," she said. In 2001, the 150th anniversary of the university, Riviello dedicated her edited collection of essays, "Women in Italian Cinema," which was written by professors at Italian and American universities, to Santa Clara.

Riviello reflected on how her education and religion greatly impacted her vocational endeavors. "All this was essential to prepare me for teaching at Santa Clara," she said.

Riviello has been at Santa Clara since Paul Locatelli, S.J., began his position as university president. "Thank you, Father Locatelli, for 20 years of spiritual, intellectual enlightenment," she said.

While living in Italy, Riviello was involved in Catholic Action, a program for adolescents that educates participants on Catholic ethics, spirituality and citizenship.

Later, when she and her family lived in New York, Riviello studied at Hunter College and received her Bachelor of Arts in Italian literature and English literature.

She earned her master's degree in Italian literature at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, and continued there to earn her doctorate in Italian literature with a minor in French literature in 1984.

When Riviello returns to Santa Clara every fall after spending the summer in Italy and New York, she is always excited to begin the new year.

"For me every fall, it's like the first year. This is what's so beautiful about Santa Clara and the students," she said.

When I come back, it's like 'This is what I was waiting for.

From The Santa Clar

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