10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Thursday, May 22, 2008

An overdose of spurious spirituality

Indians from the ancient times have regarded the sadhus and swamis as next to god and worshipped them. But, these days, various shameful acts committed by these so-called swamis certainly put a question mark on the authenticity of such persons.

FOR THE past one week, the people of Kerala have been treated to the juicy bits of two swamis’ profligacy and escapades. Every vernacular and English language daily in the state have been carrying tantalising details of their daring and nonchalance. While one swami named Amrithachaithanya was arrested on charges of embezzlement, rape, deception and so on, the other called Himaval Bhadrananda was taken in for threatening journalists at newspaper offices with a loaded gun and also using a beacon light on his car, which is forbidden.

The original name of Amrithachaitanya was Santhosh Madhavan. He hails from the hilly district of Idukki in eastern Kerala. On a visit some years ago to the United Arab Emirates (UAE), he cheated an expatriate Indian woman to the tune of Rs 45 lakhs (1 million UAE dirhams). His photo had appeared on the Interpol’s most wanted list for arms smuggling.

When the police raided his posh residence and ashram, they found a police officer’s uniform, a tiger skin, and a large number of blue film CDs. The swami was a sexual pervert who raped over half a dozen hapless minor girls whom he had been sponsoring for education. He was also running a so-called charity mission whose assets ran into crores of rupees, quite in disproportion to the known sources of his income. He led a high-profile life in the company of political bigwigs and police officers. Although now he is in police custody, all news about him shows an everlasting smile playing on his lips.

Bhadrananda’s case is even more bizarre. He came up with Karma as his route to paradise and milked his followers for cash. He managed to get licence for a pistol for the safety of his person because he claims to have had deadly enemies opposed to his Karma philosophy. The same pistol he put against his head and threatened to blow his head off to prove his ‘innocence’ while senior police officers watched his antics in silence for two hours. He managed to wound a journalist and his own left arm by firing his gun. Bhadran was a time-waster before he donned the ochre garb and started his circus among the people of Kerala.

A third swami called Krishnadas too has come under the scanner these days. Kerala obviously is ready to accept and admire these charlatans in the name of spirituality. These so-called avatars claim supernatural powers, particularly the power of prophecy. They are cunning enough to read people’s minds and with their mumbo-jumbo create the illusion of sagacity. People quickly fall prey to their charms and easy manners. They worship them and generously donate to their coffers.

Psychologists have come up with the theory that in the aftermath of globalisation, people’s aspirations have soared to insatiable limits. In their frustration and despair, they seek solace in the supernatural as propounded by these spurious gurus. These are not gurus but wolves in sheep’s clothing. And when their façade falls off as it inevitably must in due course, the reality is loathsome.

And yet people won’t learn their lessons. They lack the power to see into the tricks of these impostors. They still worship them. They will not learn from history. They are condemned to repeat history. More swindlers will appear and flourish in this land!

From Merinews

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