10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Buddhist monk and Harvard Chaplain teaching on island July 3-5

Harvard University's Buddhist chaplain, Lama Migmar Tseten, was 3 years old in 1956, when he fled hi s bi rthplace in Gy antse, th e central region of Tibet, and crossed the Himalayas by foot with 100,000 Tibetans, led by the 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso.

The Chinese invaded Tibet in 1951, killing more than 1 million Tibetans.

The Chinese occupation of Tibet, which still occurs today, is what motivates Tseten to teach the Dharma of Buddhism.

"I was actually trained," said Tseten, 52 years old. "I have studied Buddhism with my teachers and I went to Indian universities to study Indian and Tibetan Buddhism. I made up my mind when I left Tibet because of the communists having destroyed thousands of monasteries. I think it is our obligation to preserve this rich cultural heritage in Tibet and to share it with others, and so, to share the wisdom, I took this responsibility."

Now a Buddhist chaplain at Harvard University and founder of the Sakya Institute in Cambridge, Mass., Tseten connected with islander Sherry Copeland who began studying at the Institute last winter. Hearing from Copeland that no Buddhist monks had been to Nantucket to share their teachings, Tseten agreed to come to the island next weekend.

On July 4, Tseten is teaching, "Training the Mind," a session "on how to calm your destructive emotions and then how to transform the person through pacifying destructive emotions of a person and cultivate positive feelings in a person," he said.

And on July 5, Tseten is offering "Green Tara Initiation and Practice Instruction," a female empowerment class to explore meditation empowerment through Mother Tara. The practice of Green Tara "helps to overcome fear and anxiety and eliminate suffering of all kinds. Tara brings happiness and can also grant wishes."

Tseten's visit to Nantucket is a chance for island Buddhists and those still exploring this belief system to learn about an alternate way of living one's life.

"I think the whole practice and study of Dharman Buddhism is just a method or structure in which to lead your life," said Copeland, a social worker with Nantucket Behavioral Health Services. "It helps you focus on what you're doing, and in that way it can be very transforming."

While on a trip to India and Nepal last year, Copeland "took refuge" or accepted the Buddhist teachings of Dharma.

"The study of Buddhism gives you a way to address the negativism in your life to help others," said Copeland. "With my own work, I'm trying to find a way to be more helpful, especially as a healing practitioner. It's hard to bring up issues and not get caught up yourself."

Part of Copeland's responsibilities as a Buddhist is to spread the word of His Holiness, the Dalai Lama. Towards that end, she will be hosting two teaching sessions by Tseten at the Yoga Room from July 3 to July 5 and a book signing at the Methodist Church.

Within the Buddhist belief system, Dharma is the truth about the way things are, and will always be, in the universe or nature, especially when contained in scripture.

Dharma is the written text around Buddhism, the body of teaching put forth by the Buddha, said Copeland.

What the Dharma means to each individual Buddhist, however, is as personal and unique as anyone's faith in their chosen religion.

By Peter B.Brace

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