10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

Popular content

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Change, yes. Now, no.

There is no plausible way to end this conflict other than to allow the whole society to take part in drafting the new constitution. Either that, or there will be blood on the streets.

For Thai society, there is no worse moment to amend the constitution than now. Even though a consensus has been more or less reached about whether we should change the charter, some blood was shed on the streets. If we actually get down to rewriting the text, we could be butchering one another.

There are so many ideas, phrasing and wording to argue about. And the sad thing is that these differences of opinion are less about the relationship between the institutions of governance than the political objectives of different power groups.

We might remind ourselves that we wrote the constitution in the first place so that we could have a set of rules we can agree to and solve a conflict peacefully. Today, however, we are using the charter as a forum to achieve political goals. It's no surprise that the raw power of fists, sticks, stones and bottles has been hurled around in this forum.

Unless we can sort out the mixing up of the end and the means in this volatile conflict, the squabbling won't go away. That is why the referendum idea is appeasing no one and calming nothing.

I had pointed out since the 2007 constitution was not promulgated that it had many flaws and should not have been put into use. Or that it should be amended after it was voted in.

But faced with a referendum question of whether to allow it to be changed or not, I find myself not knowing how to answer.

And I know why. The thing is the heart of this issue is not about "whether" the charter should be amended but "how".

If the amendment process is not an accountable and legitimate one, or is viewed as too rushed, the rewritten version could end up with more flaws than what it already has. Don't forget that we have had a few constitutions that were much worse than the 2007 one.

Without knowing what to change and how it would be changed, nobody can make an informed choice should a referendum be held. The votes, both for or against, will be political ones, the result of which wouldn't be accepted by the opposing groups and thus wouldn't help lessen the conflicts.

None of the draft amendments that have been proposed so far have been publicised, nor have they been discussed widely in public. There have been no discussions why certain sections should be changed and why others should not. The discussions should be allowed to continue until the public has enough information to make a choice on their own. It's this process that is necessary, that must be done, before a referendum is held.

Amid the many ideas that have been floated to break the apparent impasse, the one that I agree with is the proposal to set up a committee to study the issue. I would like to add that the committee should not consider only legal aspects. It should start by studying what are the "problems" in Thai society that can be effectively tackled by mutually agreed "rules". Then, it should disseminate the ideas and find ways for the public to participate in discussing them.

Although some of the premises on which the 1997 charter was made still hold true today; some of the answers it provided proved to be ineffective. Not only were independent bodies prone to being crippled by a very strong government, but an attempt by the public to provide checks and balances was also dysfunctional.

The 10 years that lapsed after it was written also brought with it a number of new challenges that a charter must address.

For example, will a proposal to set up a "special administration zone" in the restive south go against the constitution's stipulation of Thailand as an "indivisible Kingdom"? Have we really sorted out what should be the status of Buddhism in the constitution?

The process of constitution amendment is too complex to be settled by a simplistic, yes-or-no event of a referendum. And it is the "process" that counts. It is the process - one that is inclusive and open to every group - that could convince people that we will be having a new constitution that is good, fair and effective.

And even though we have arrived at what the challenges of today's Thai society are and what shape the new constitution should be in to cope best with them, there is another question of who we should trust to do the rewriting. I think a number of Thais would agree with me in not trusting parliament on this matter.

MPs are authorised to do certain tasks for the public, that is true. Charter amendment is not one of them, however.

While the idea of having another constitution assembly is appealing, it also fails to resolve current conflicts. The problem is no matter how the assembly members are selected - even though they were voted in by the public like members of parliament - the other side would still view them as being biased or belonging to a political party.

At this juncture, I see no plausible way to end this conflict other than to allow the whole society to take part in drafting the new charter themselves. We will have to resort to having a public hearing on each important aspect of the constitution, for example how the electorate should be divided? One-person-one-vote? Small constituencies or large ones?

I hope that the process of arguing and discussing these important issues regarding the constitution would divert society to a more reasonable conflict than the trading of accusations that we are facing at present. We can have legal hands do the actual rewriting of the charter, but the concept must come from the results of public hearings.

It is going to be a long process. I actually hope that the length of time we will have to spend on this will reduce the rather senseless bickering we are having today. Changing or drafting a constitution demands a more amicable ambience than now. There will be so many things to contend with and debate. A friendly atmosphere would ensure we can disagree with respect.

Once we have the newly rewritten draft charter, we will still need a bit more time to allow the public to debate its merits and drawbacks. After that, the new draft can be put up to a referendum. When that time comes, the public will have a clear choice between the current 2550 constitution and the new draft. Neither of them will be perfect. Each person will have to see for him or herself which one is the better charter.

As long as the all-important "process" of constitutional amendment is carried on in a rash and hasty way, people will suspect that it's only done to serve vested, personal purposes.

There is no way such a shabby process should be allowed to break through.

By Nidhi Eoseewong

No comments: