10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

Popular content

Monday, June 02, 2008

Dalai Lama Faces Protest

Hundreds of Buddhist monks plan to gather in the centre of Oxford today - to protest against a visit by the Dalai Lama, the Tibetan spiritual leader.

The Dalai Lama is due to speak at the Sheldonian Theatre and up to 1,000 members of the Western Shugden Society plan to demonstrate outside.

They claim the Tibetan leader has banned a traditional Buddhist prayer, the Dorje Shugden, and worship of a deity, while his followers are abusing the human rights of Shugden Buddhists.

Speaking yesterday at the Randolph Hotel, in Beaumont Street, Oxford, Kelsang Pema, the spokesman for the Western Shugden Society, said the demonstration would be peaceful but noisy.

Extra police will be on duty and Catte Street will be closed throughout the morning.

Kelsang Pema said: "We want the world to see these demonstrations and hope we can get the Dalai Lama to lift this religious ban, which is infringing people's human rights.

"In India, monks have been expelled, houses burned, supporters denied food and thousands of families ostracised, because Shugden is perceived as acting against the Dalai Lama.

"He comes to this country and tells us about love and compassion, but he is not practising what he is teaching.

"We will be making a lot of noise and we won't stop until he stops this religious persecution.

"We hope this demonstration will bring about a meaningful discussion with him."

Supporters are expected in Oxford from as far away as Brazil, New Zealand, Hong Kong and South Africa.

Many of them have been following the Dalai Lama around the UK, including London and Nottingham in recent weeks.

Kelsang Pema claims a referendum initiated by the Dalai Lama aims to ban the Shugden prayer across the world. She denied the group shared links with China or was harmful.

Mark Leonard, of the Oxford-based Society for Wider Understanding of the Buddhist Tradition, which is hosting the Dalai Lama's talk, said: "We welcome freedom of speech and our understanding is this is an internal matter within Tibetan Buddhism."

Supt Brendan O'Dowda, of Oxford police, said: "We're very used to dealing with high-profile visitors in Oxford and will deal with this event in a sensitive and professional manner."

By Matt Wilkinson

No comments: