10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Buddhism is dying in Japan?

Here's an interesting article on the death of Buddhism in Japan. Until recently the Japanese have been connected to Buddhism mainly through funerals but even that tie is breaking:

But the move to funeral homes has sharply accelerated in the last decade. In 1999, 62 percent still held funerals at home or in temples, while 30 percent chose funeral homes, according to the Consumers' Association. But in 2007, the preferences were reversed, with 28 percent selecting funerals at home or in temples, and 61 percent opting for funeral homes.

In addition, an increasing number of Japanese are deciding to have their loved ones cremated without any funeral at all, said Noriyuki Ueda, an anthropologist at the Tokyo Institute of Technology and an expert on Buddhism.

The article seems to blame the finical practices of the temples, saying that the funeral cost is at the discretion of the family but pressuring them to give generously. But it sounds like the problem started when people became "funeral Buddhists" which sounds similar to the C& E Christians (Christmas and Easter). You know there's a break in a religion when the next generation isn't interested in continuing it.

So, what will replace it? I'm thinking that it's probably materialism and/or agnosticism. It's generally what you fall into when you are no longer rooted in a religion. They might even retain some of Buddhism teachings but not follow it's traditions, sort of inoculating them from following another religion, that's another path the younger generation follows. Just like those who call themselves Christians because they were raised as Christians but really don't belong to a church.

Posted by Michele McGinty


New Age Cowboy said...

Anybody that's lived in Asia can tell you that, many times, western behaviors and institutions there don't run very deep. Many times trends are cosmetic.
Funeral Buddhists and other parasitic practitioners have been an issue since the lay Buddhist organization, Soka Gakkai, formed around World War II. The Soka Gakkai is a lot like the Reformation in Europe, but on a smaller scale factoring in the affected Japanese population.

There are also many lay Zen organizations forming. That can be further explored via Brad Warner's oddly titled book, HARDCORE ZEN PUNK ROCK MONSTER MOVIES & THE TRUTH ABOUT REALITY. (Brad taught English in Japan)

Anyhow, if Buddhism falters on the Japanese islands - it's certainly got a welcoming western audience. Christianity is full of parasites on our side of the Pacific.

Charles Cosimano said...

Japan started moving away from Buddhism after it lost the big war because the very notion of spirituality seemed linked with defeat. And secularism has done it well in their minds, so there is little use for religion of any kind in the Japanese mentality outside of the rural areas.

The interesting thing is that the form of Buddhism that first took serious root in the US was Zen, brought over from Japan and it is the form that still has the most appeal to Americans, largely because the Zen environment fits in very well with the Protestant esthetic, plain, simple and uncumbered with froo froo.

ZZ said...

I agree with New Age Cowboy. I lived in Japan for a number of years, and many of them will have a "Christian" or Shinto wedding and a Buddhist funeral. A friend of mine who was a Japanese Baptist minister said that most Japanese today are essentially materialists and/or agnostics, or they have some vague belief in "honor" or "fate" or some naturalistic belief rooted in Shintoism, that doesn't impact their behavior. But they still cling to certain religious forms out of tradition, such as ancestor worship.

A notable exception are Japanese Christians. Being an extreme minority, and, like most Japanese, forming connections and making decisions MUCH more carefully than most Americans, they tend to be very strong in their beliefs and and communities. Our minister friend's wife was, for example, descendant from Christian Samurai, with the somewhat unusual surname "Yamaga" (as opposed to Yamada) Which is recognized as a Samurai name. The castle that her ancestors occupied still stands, and it has crosses laid into the roof tiles rather than more traditional Buddhist symbols. It dates from the 16th century.