10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Dalai Lama to speak at Lehigh University

The Dalai Lama is coming to Lehigh University in Bethlehem. He'll teach a series of classes Friday and Saturday on Tibetan Buddhism and give a public lecture Sunday on "Generating a Good Heart."

When tickets to hear the Buddhist monk with the rock star status went on sale March 20, all 5,000 were gone in 15 minutes.

Here's a look at the cause of the excitement: BACKGROUND The current Dalai Lama -- most recent in a lineage of 14 spiritual leaders of Tibetan Buddhism -- has lived in exile since 1959, nine years after the communist takeover of Tibet. He leads the Tibetan government in exile in India and in 1989 received the Nobel Peace Prize for his nonviolent effort to end Chinese occupation of his homeland. THE FASCINATION "The word has gotten out that there is something special about this man. He's very warm and seems to be 100-percent present to every person," said Dan Cozort, a religion professor at Dickinson College. "It turns out he's very smart, too."

Celebrities such as Richard Gere and the Beastie Boys' Adam Youch are Dalai Lama followers, and his life has been examined in major films starring Brad Pitt and directed by Martin Scorsese.

Tibetan Buddhists in the U.S. tend to be native-born, well-educated, middle-class people drawn to the emphasis on compassion, Cozort said. He also notes a big contingent of "nightstand Buddhists," who don't formally associate with Buddhism but help make the Dalai Lama's books best-sellers. THE OCCASION The Dalai Lama's visit to the U.S. marks the completion of the English translation of the sacred Tibetan Buddhist text, "The Great Treatise on the Stages of the Path to Enlightenment," which will be the subject of his teaching. Cozort helped with that translation. WHY LEHIGH? The university said it has long-standing ties through its faculty with the nearby Tibetan Buddhist Learning Center in Washington, N.J., which oversaw the translation and is sponsoring the visit. THE CONTROVERSY A complex doctrinal dispute pits members of the Shugden stream of Tibetan Buddhism against the Dalai Lama. He has called their practice divisive. They say he represses their religious freedom. Demonstrations have marked his public appearances in recent years and will continue at Lehigh, a Shugden spokeswoman said.

By Mary Warner

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