10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Refuge for the Desperate

Vice President Vincent Siew visited Taipei 101 to pray yesterday. President Ma Ying-jeou did so on

Saturday. They both prayed before a gold Buddha image presented as a gift to one of Taiwan’s popular Buddhist patriarchs by his Thai counterpart. The two leaders of Taiwan implored divine help end the country’s seemingly endless trouble just as ancient Chinese emperors did.

Siew and Ma addressed their prayers to what is called the Wealth and Honor Gold Buddha, given to Master Daoxin of Taiwan’s Ghridhrakuta (Vulture Mountain). Incidentally, Vulture Mountain, near the ancient city of Radjagriha in India, is one of the sacred places where Gautama Siddhartha, the Buddha, expounded the original Buddhist doctrine (one very much different from populist Mahayana Buddhism now practiced in Taiwan) to bikhsu (Buddhist fakirs) and senior bodhisattvas (who were Buddhists with right wisdom, but not yet with consummate penetration in this secular world, unlike those in Mahayana Buddhism who could save and help the faithful). Perhaps, both Siew and Ma truly believe their prayers will be answered. But we like to believe they let themselves be persuaded by their staff, who are convinced that all the woes that are gripping Taiwan have resulted from Premier Liu Chao-shiuan’s failure to worship the ghosts during the Ghost Festival in the summer, and that Matsu, the Goddess of the Seas, hinted through a medium she would get Ma out of all the trouble in three months’ time. In particular, some on the staff love the title of the gold Buddha. It’s Wealth and Honor, which Taiwan is seeking desperately.

We are sure of one thing. The staff members who have suggested that Siew and Ma bark up the wrong tree are no Buddhists. The followers of the Buddha are taught wealth and honor are human cravings, or “tanha,” they have to renounce in order to be enlightened. Calling for divine help used to be a popular Taoist practice, but Buddhism and Taoism have long merged into one hybrid folk religion in Taiwan.

There’s little doubt that some of Ma’s top aides, who want desperately to get their boss out of trouble, are at their wits’ end. Otherwise, they wouldn’t dare try to talk the president and the vice president into visiting Taipei 101. But the real trouble is that Taiwan can’t get out of the trouble it is facing and will continue to face in three months. What kind of friendly persuasion will the assistants resort to then? They may request Ma to write a self-reproaching edict, like the one the puppet Guangxi emperor of the Qing Dynasty issued after an allied army had sacked Beijing in the Boxer Rebellion of 1900. The emperor and his aunt Empress Dowager, who kept him hostage, had to flee the capital when the army with contingents contributed by eight countries marched on Beijing to rescue their diplomats and families. The emperor had to tell his subjects he had to take responsibility for “shaming” his empire.

The China Post news staff

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