10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Thursday, October 02, 2008

Spirituality Unleashed

Operating room voice leads to first publication on faith for local doctor.

Vienna resident Neeraj Bhushan keeps Tuesday mornings for himself, clearing off his busy schedule to take a long walk before stepping foot in his office at Reston Hospital Center where he works as an internal medicine specialist. During a Tuesday morning walk late in 2005, Bhushan felt a terrible pain in his knee, rendering him unable to finish his walk.
"The knee suddenly started to hurt really bad," said Bhushan, recalling the experience. The pain was a result of a torn meniscus, an injury he sustained playing basketball 10 years earlier. Bhushan saw a colleague, an orthopedic surgeon, whose office was on the same floor as Bhushan’s. The surgeon recommended surgery as an answer to Bhushan’s woes. What transpired in the operating room the day of the surgery changed Bhushan forever and drove him to write his first book, "The Wide Open Door."
"I panicked because of possible complications, I even envisioned myself dying," said Bhushan, who understood complications from surgery having practiced internal medicine for more than 25 years in Reston at that time. As the operating room lights became brighter and the surgeon and the anesthetic technician made final preparations to put Bhushan under for surgery, Bhushan heard a third voice. It was a man’s voice, he said, that whispered to him, "Why are you afraid my son, I’m right here." Bhushan said he was scared to hear the voice. "It was just me on the operating table and I was talking to this voice," he said. Bhushan then calmed down and "surrendered" himself to the voice, before the surgery started.

WHEN BHUSHAN woke up from the surgery, which involved drilling three holes into his knee, he walked into the bathroom without any crutches, not limping and not feeling any pain. The surgeon prescribed strong medications to ease the pain once he got home, but Bhushan never did feel any pain in his knee as he went to sleep. Doubting that he had surgery, Bhushan waited until his wife went to sleep and undressed the knee. When he saw where the surgeon drilled, evidence that surgery did take place, Bhushan broke down.
"I felt that some power, which I believe is God, touched my knee," said Bhushan. "I started feeling that some other power than what we [doctors] do healed me," said Bhushan. "I was healed by spirituality, not medicine."
For almost a year Bhushan tried to come to terms with the belief that he benefited from direct contact with God. "I was bothered that I was given that privilege," said Bhushan. When he could not, Bhushan started to write "The Wide Open Door," a recollection of his experience, and other stories of patients he has had in his 29 years at Reston, who had quick recoveries not explained through medicine. Although he was always a man of faith, growing up in a Hindu family in India and joining a temple once he immigrated to the United States, Bhushan said his experience has taught him to surrender to God’s will. "I never understood the meaning of faith," he said speaking of his early spiritual life. "It was always a trade or negotiation," he said, going to temple in exchange for a positive view from God. "This experience has led me to believe in unconditional surrender," said Bhushan, chairman of an advisory council of the Rajdhani Mandir Hindu Temple in Chantilly.

"WE MEET OFTEN," said Vikram Khushalani, Bhushan’s friend of more than 30 years and patient for 28 of those years. "When we used to meet before we would talk lightheartedly," said Khushalani. "Now, we are talking more and more about spirituality," he said. "He [Bhushan] seems to be little more at peace."
Khushalani said Bhushan has always been a sensible doctor whose goal is to put his patients at ease. Since Bhushan’s surgery, however, Bhushan’s devotion to relaxing his patients has increased. "It is more so now," said Khushalani.
Jisele Alter, Bhushan’s office manager who has worked with him in some capacity since 1981, said compassion is Bhushan’s top characteristic. "He has an unbelievable amount of patience with patients," said Alter. She said, from personal experience, that going through surgery is a very scary experience. Bhushan, she said, does everything in his power to calm his patients, even the most difficult ones. "He’s a fantastic physician," said Alter.
"The Wide Open Door" is scheduled for publication in November, according to Bhushan. There is also a tentative book signing date at Borders in Tysons Corner scheduled for Nov. 29. Bhushan said there has been "tremendous interest" expressed in the book from his patients and friends.
The strengthened spirituality Bhushan has found since his knee surgery has unleashed a series of ideas on other books Bhushan hopes to author, each of which will center around faith. He has starting writing two of those books already and has conceived an idea for another. "This has opened another part of my brain," said Bhushan.

By Mirza Kurspahic

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