10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Buddhist Monks Share Traditions

Public Invited to Tallmadge to Watch Ancient Rituals

TALLMADGE: The chanting, singing and bell-ringing inside Unity Chapel of Light this week are meant to inspire peace and compassion.

''We want to share some of the fundamental teachings of Buddhism and give people a chance to experience our culture and religion,'' said Geshe Gankar Tulka Rinpoche, through a translator. ''We are not promoting Buddhism, but hope that people from other traditions can learn from us and we can learn from them.''

Rinpoche, the spiritual leader of the Dzindu Monastery in India, and two other Tibetan Buddhist monks will be at the church at 503 Northwest Ave. through Saturday. Their visit is part of a U.S. tour to give the public an opportunity to learn about ancient Buddhist traditions through lectures, prayers and ritual ceremonies. They are also constructing a sand mandala in the church fellowship hall and offering blessings of homes and businesses.

The goal of the tour is to build awareness of Buddhism, to spread the word of love and understanding and to raise money for their monastery and its monks and nuns, who have been exiled from Tibet. The monastery is now based in Mundgod, India.

''I've never met more peaceful, compassionate and loving people who exhibit those qualities in their daily lives,'' said Gloria Ireland, president of the Ohio Metaphysical Society. ''My prayer is that people in our community will be able to connect with their spirit of love and compassion and respond to each other with that same kind of compassion and love.''

Ireland's philosophical group, which meets at Unity Chapel of Light, is co-sponsoring the monks' visit, which is their second visit to the Tallmadge church in four years. Rinpoche said this week's visit has been a time to reconnect with friends.

One of those friends, Bruce Sugarberg, said the monks' visit helps his church promote the message of unity and tolerance. He describes the monks as ''genuinely holy people.

''The Unity movement believes in diversity, We believe all religions are valid and that there are many paths to the same result,'' Sugarberg said. ''We can learn a lot about love, peace, tranquility and selflessness from the monks' teachings.''

The maroon- and gold-clad monks opened their visit on Friday with a presentation on energy healing. Over the weekend, they shared basic teachings of Buddhism and conducted a healing service and an opening ceremony for the mandala. During the ritual ceremony, the monks chanted prayers to bless the ground on which the sand mandala is being built and invited the angels to come and bless the area.

On Monday, the monks visited children in shelters and continued constructing the mandala, made of colorful sands. Its pattern is organized around a unifying center. The mandala represents the universe, or wholeness. The monks will spend many hours over the next several days creating the intricate symbol as a way to educate people about the culture of Tibet.

When it is finished on Saturday, the monks will gather in a ceremony, chanting in deep tones while they sweep their mandala into a jar to be emptied into a nearby body of water as a blessing. The emptying into the water symbolizes the circle of life. The dismantling of the mandala demonstrates the impermanence of life.

''The mandala is a road map for a practitioner to get the divine qualities of compassion and love,'' Rinpoche said through his translator, Tenzin Bhuchung, of Tallmadge. ''The colors represent the elements of earth, wind, fire, water and space. The colors also represent different types of blessings. The white is for purification, the yellow for increasing things like wisdom, and so on.''

The public is invited to view the construction of the mandala 2 to 8 p.m. today and Wednesday, and 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Thursday and Friday. Rinpoche will teach about meditation from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. on Wednesday. Saturday, a White Tara Empowerment lecture will be presented from 10 a.m. to noon, and a teaching about monastic life in India is 1:30 to 2:15 p.m.

The closing ceremony and dismantling of the mandala is 2:30 to 3:30 p.m. Saturday. An offering for the monks is being accepted at the door for all events. For a complete list of events or to schedule a blessing or consultation with Rinpoche, call 330-459-3162 or visit http:// www.unitychapeloflight.org.

Rinpoche, who was ordained by the Dalai Lama, is the founder and director of Khacholing Center in Minnesota. "We believe all religious traditions can learn from each other," Rinpoche said. "Our tradition is broad but we hope people understand that the [goal] of Buddhism is to transform our minds from a negative state to a more wholesome, positive state."

By Colette M. Jenkins

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