10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Thursday, November 06, 2008

Satan is the Great Deceiver

We have written about the good - now it's time to address Satan, the great deceiver. All over the world that force of evil is acknowledged: in Buddhism he is Mara, in Persia he is Angra Mainyu and in Islam he is Iblis.

George Barna the pollster tells us that 50 percent of Christians do not believe Satan is a real person but only the personification of evil. Consider that many people do not believe in angelic intervention in human affairs because they can't feel any angelic pull, yet who can deny the pull of evil in our lives?

We are not talking about a goatlike being in red long-johns, we are talking about an angel of light. (2 Corinthians 11:14) that attempts to derail our morality every day - often succeeding.

There are 33 different names for Satan, including, devil, adversary, deceiver, belial, evil spirit, serpent, prince of this world, power of darkness, liar and tempter, to name a few. Satan may be compared to a predator (wolf) lurking at the perimeter of the flock, ever alert for the weak animal, the overly brave, the foolish, or the careless, in order to make his kill.

The Apostle Paul, strong character that he was, was susceptible to Satan's influence. In Romans 7:14-24 we read his testimony: "For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I..... O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?" The answer is in chapter 8, verse 1: "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit."

Why is Satan permitted to exist and have so much power? Is God unable to destroy him? No, but Satan is permitted to operate for certain reasons best known to God. God is patient, giving men time to turn to Him.

Satan's power consists principally in his ability to deceive. According to the Bible, Satan is fundamentally a liar and his kingdom is founded upon lies and deceit. The antithesis of a lie is truth. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life. (John 14:6) and Jesus will prevail. Satan operates only with God's consent and his power is limited. He is doomed to destruction in the latter days - he has only a short-term lease on this life.

Speaking of latter days, I Timothy 4:1 says, "Now the spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils. We can clearly see that happening today with satanism, the occult, Eastern mysticism, astrology and new age religions. As the saying goes, if you know your enemy, you can defeat him. Be aware of Satan's tricks and live victoriously for God.

Raymond F. Smith is a deacon at Fellowship Bible Church in Victoria and President of Strong Families of Victoria.

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