10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Monday, December 22, 2008

Hanukkah Lights Honor Terror Victims

Hanukkah took on a special meaning for Jews this year, especially those of the Chabad Lubavitch community.

Judaism’s Festival of Lights is the first holiday since the massacre in November of Rabbi Gavriel Holtzberg, his wife, Rivkah, and seven other Jews inside a Chabad synagogue/ hospitality center in Mumbai, India.

Chabad of Eastern Connecticut dedicated a 15-foot menorah, or festival candlestick, to the fallen members of its movement. The menorah was lit for the first night of the festival Sunday. Hanukkah lasts for eight days.

“They were an unbelievable couple,” Rabbi Avrohom Sternberg, Chabad of Eastern Connecticut’s spiritual leader, said of the slain rabbi and his wife. Sternberg lit the memorial menorah in a ceremony at the New London Holiday Inn. The theme of light was very much on his mind.

“We must transform our tragedy into something positive,” he said. “Every time there’s a darkness we must counter it with more light.”

Light is a metaphor for doing good deeds, said Sternberg, who hosted a party for 80 people after the poignant outdoor ceremony.

The nation’s struggling economy presents another chance to reflect on Hanukkah’s meaning, said Rabbi Jeremy Booty of Norwich’s Congregation Brothers of Joseph. He views the festival as celebrating the victory of spirituality over materialism. Also, Jews in the time of the first Hanukkah not only had to fight a military battle but had to overcome corrupt cultural trends known as Hellenism, he pointed out.

“Hanukkah is an opportunity to let our spiritual side emerge,” Booty said.

Booty’s congregation will celebrate the festival at 4 p.m. this coming Sunday after canceling a party and menorah ceremony due to inclement weather this past Sunday.

A pre-Hanukkah party on Saturday at Beth Jacob Synagogue in Norwich proved to be well-timed in relation to the weather.

“We hit it just right,” said Rabbi Charles Arian, the congregation’s spiritual leader.

Weather cut into attendance somewhat. Plans were made to accommodate 75 to 80 while about 60 actually came, the rabbi reported. But spirits were high.

“It was a nice time,” Arian said.

Weather forced cancellation of a party at Congregation B’nai Shalom in Danielson/Putnam. The celebration has been rescheduled for 7 p.m. Friday at the group’s Danielson building, said Alan Turner, the synagogue’s lay leader.

A Sunday celebration by local Hebrew schools at Temple Emanu-el in Waterford also was canceled, as was a latke, or potato pancake, dinner organized by the synagogue’s brotherhood. Rich Pascal, Temple Emanu-el’s president, said both events will be rescheduled for some time before Hanukkah ends.

By James Mosher

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