10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Meditation Service Aims to Lift the Mood of the Lonely

Lurking behind the merriment of the holidays is a bad case of the blues.

Holiday gatherings can put pressure on people to be upbeat and the life of the party.

Dysfunctional families can feel like they'll never get it together. And those without family can experience deep feelings of loneliness.

The Community for Spiritual Living church in Colorado Springs is reaching out to these people and others with a Christmas Taize service on Sunday that relies partly on meditation to lift their mood.

"Christmas time can be the loneliest, saddest time for people," said church Senior Pastor Jody Stevenson. "People need community at this time, and we want to offer that."

A Taize (Tah-ZAY) service offers song, prayer and a method of meditation similar to that of Zen Buddhism.But its roots are firmly planted in Christianity.

The service was developed in the 1940s in an ecumenical Christian community in Taize, France, and quickly became popular because it filled a void within Protestant Christianity.

While Catholicism has the Centering Prayer and the so-called Christian Meditation, both developed by Benedictine monks in the 1970s, and Greek Orthodoxy has a tradition of silent meditation dating back to the Desert Fathers in the fourth century, Protestant churches had no such practice.

Today, hundreds of nonevangelical Protestant churches in America, including a handful in Colorado Springs, hold evening Taize services as a complement to their more traditional Sunday services.

Taize meditation is about emptying the mind to experience the presence of God, said Linda Gleeson, a Taize facilitator at the Community for Spiritual Living.

"In the silence, God has an opportunity to speak to us," Gleeson said.

Sunday's event will be the second annual Taize Christmas service at the nondenominational church, which holds three Taize services each year. Hundreds of white candles will flicker in the dark sanctuary as people pray, sing and listen to Stevenson's brief talk about the holiday blues.

Three five-minute silent meditations will be part of the one-hour service.

Kay Sanders, a 75-year-old church member who has been attending Taize services for three years, said she has deepened her spirituality through Taize.

"We need to take time for meditation," Sanders said, "and be open to whatever the Spirit might share."

Mark Barna

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