10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Monday, December 01, 2008

Paradise Lost and the Evolution of Spirituality

I have been thinking about challenging questions at the interface between faith and evolutionary biology. In the next few posts I’m going to explore speculation in biology that religion and spirituality are evolved features of human cognition. What are the implications of that if true? Can we believe that and still keep our faith? Of course we can. But let’s explore a context for an approach.

I’ve been reading Milton’ Paradise Lost and have gathered insights there that bear on this question. Late in the book an instructive exchange occurs between Adam and the Angel Raphael who has been showing Adam the events that happened before his creation. Adam is a little perplexed that all the stars, planets and the sun have to circle a little no-account place like Earth. He recognizes the stars and planets are very far way and is amazed that to fulfill the command of their creator to orbit the Earth each day, they really have to make a dash for it to complete their turn about planet each day. He’s really curious about this aspect of the creator’s strange design for the heavens.

(Recalling that the scriptures are absolutely clear that it is the Earth that is still it and it is the heavens that move:
Psalm 93: 1 the world also is stablished, that it cannot be moved
Psalm 96:10 the world also shall be established that it shall not be moved
Ecclesiastes 1:5 The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to his place where he arose.”
Saying the Earth revolves around the sun is like saying there was death before Adam. It’s that clear in the Scriptures).

The angel is pleased that Adam is asking hard questions and commends him for looking to nature to find answers to questions, which he also considers God’s word. But the angel says:

“To ask or search I blame thee not, for Heav’n
Is as the Book of God before thee set,
Wherein to read his wondrous Works, and learne
His Seasons, Hours, or Days, or Months, or Yeares:
This to attain, whether Heav’n move or Earth,
Imports not, if thou reck’n right, the rest
From Man or Angel the great Architect
Did wisely to conceal, and not divulge
His secrets to be scann’d by them who ought
Rather admire; or if they list to try
Conjecture, he his Fabric of the Heav’ns
Hath left to thir disputes, perhaps to move
His laughter at thir quaint Opinions wide

Milton here is writing about 30 years after Galileo. Both the Catholic Church and Protestant Reformation have rejected the idea that the Earth moves around the Sun. The angel is arguing that as long as you get the reck’n right, as long as you can make the predictions about the timing of heavenly events like eclipses, solstices, etc., how things really are does not matter much. He suggests that God might find our scholarly disputes humorous. The angel then offers some reasons why it’s not a big deal that the expansive heavens go turning about the centered Earth.

. . . Heav’n is for thee too high
To know what passes there; be lowlie wise:
Think onely what concernes thee and thy being;
Dream not of other Worlds, what Creatures there
Live, in what state, condition or degree,
Contented that thus farr hath been reveal’d

He tells Adam not to be concerned with these higher things and be content with what has been revealed.

Adam is quite satisfied with this advice and says:

To whom thus ADAM cleerd of doubt, repli’d.
How fully hast thou satisfi’d mee, pure
Intelligence of Heav’n, Angel serene,
And freed from intricacies, taught to live,
The easiest way, nor with perplexing thoughts
To interrupt the sweet of Life, from which
God hath bid dwell farr off all anxious cares,
And not molest us, unless we our selves
Seek them with wandring thoughts, and notions vaine.

Best not live perplexing thoughts. Let God handle those anxious cares and not molest ourselves with questions.

In fact Adam suggests the questioning mind is dangerous:

But apt the Mind or Fancie is to roave
Uncheckt, and of her roaving is no end;
Till warn’d, or by experience taught, she learne,
That not to know at large of things remote
From use, obscure and suttle, but to know
That which before us lies in daily life,
Is the prime Wisdom, . . .

I see this attitude of Adam and the Angel today among some of the saints who argue that we ought to leave questions about the science of creation alone. Avoid the hard questions that evolution brings. But what’s interesting to me is that the dialogue from Paradise Lost was argued vis-à-vis Adam’s innocence—Prior to partaking of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. The last lines of Paradise Lost, as Adam and Eve take their last walk through Eden and out of the garden, are some of the most beautiful and meaningful to me in all of literature:

With dreadful Faces throng’d and fierie Armes:
Som natural tears they drop’d, but wip’d them soon;
The World was all before them, where to choose
Thir place of rest, and Providence thir guide:
They hand in hand with wandring steps and slow,
Through EDEN took thir solitarie way.

The World was all before them and with wandering steps and slow Through EDEN took thir solitarie way! Wow.

So it is for us. We must ask the hard questions. We are no longer innocent. Adam made a choice for knowledge and its pursuit. It was the tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil after all. Knowledge. We needn’t fear where the questions of science take us. Adam made the right choice. Knowledge over innocence. Questions rather than answers. Quest is rooted in the word Question’s stem. The world is indeed all before us. We need not fear what we will find in its examination. Not neglecting ‘and Providence thir guide’ we will press on with hard questions about the possible evolution of spirituality in humans.

By SteveP

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