10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice


I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.



There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:



1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.



2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.



3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.



4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”



Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:




  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.



  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!



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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Religion for Dummies: It's all pretty simple

Dawn Cribbs from McCook Gazette wrote:

Danny and I are frequent visitors at the local library. We don't even have to show our cards anymore and they can tell just by looking at my face whether or not the little overdue bell is going to ring before I can check out my latest finds.

I love to read, as frequent readers know, and enjoy a wide variety of authors, mostly fiction because I get enough of the current events on the job, and I need a break -- a few storybook endings rarely read in the real world, please.

I did check out a "For Dummies" book recently, though, that I found interesting. (I chose the "For Dummies" version because I can only take so much edu-speak in a day.) This book took a look at world religions and gave mostly interesting, certainly concise snapshots of the major religions in the world.

I read through the pages of Christianity, marveling again at the many splits over the years, taking particular note, however, of the fact that most of the familiar Christian denominations are "recent developments" when measured across two full millennia.

Man's desire for something, Someone, higher is by no means a new development in human history. Virtually every human community over the course of the ages has developed a religious system. As one responder to a recent column opined, "Apollo is Pan is Zeus, is Christ, is Muhammad, etc." concluding with the observation that we should celebrate peace on Earth and goodwill to men, "because it is right and because it may save us from our own continued folly of accepting old literature as absolute truth -- a practice which is well on the way of destroying mankind."

It is true, the adherents of the world's largest religions today do believe that "their way" is the "true path" to enlightenment, to Paradise, to Nirvana or to God himself. What is also true is how many of the desires of those world religions are fully met when meeting Jesus.

Each reveals a certain desire for ultimate justice and each reveals the truth of Scripture that God has placed eternity in the hearts of men. (Ecclesiastes 3:11) And man's continued pursuit of peace, whether peace of mind or peace with God (two-sides of the same coin to my way of thinking) revealed in religious writing is perhaps also revealed in these latter days by the number of pharmaceutical companies vying for our prescription dollars.

The Hindu teaching of karma and reincarnation reveals those desires, but close examination of Hinduism shows that even if given multiple lives, man still fails to save himself, to break for himself the cycle of endless death and reincarnation.

Eternity.

For adherents to Islam, Paradise is the goal and is met only by those who fulfill the Five Pillars of Faith in Islam, the first of which is to publicly acknowledge that "There is no God but Allah, and Muhammad is the Prophet of Allah." Islam teachings are comprised of both faith and duty and Islam further teaches that each man and woman has two angels, one recording good deeds, the other bad deeds. Justice.

It is hard to find fault with the five precepts of Buddhism, which are to avoid killing or harming any living being; to avoid taking what has not been given; to avoid committing sexual misconduct; to avoid using false words and to avoid taking alcohol and other intoxicants. Buddhism provides Four Noble Truths that lead to the Eightfold Path, which ultimately lead to a state of higher consciousness, where dukkah (the futility of life) ceases.

Peace.

Naturally, Judaism makes the top five (by number of adherents) of the religions of the world, and is somewhat familiar to Christians, because of our belief that Jesus fulfilled the Old Testament prophecies of the promised Messiah, for whom Israel still waits. The God they worship, follow and serve, is in fact the Father of the Christ we call both Lord and Savior. Judaism and Christianity are intimately and eternally related because of Jesus. God's oft-repeated promise of the restoration of Israel after all, is fully met in the Messiah.

Peace. Justice. Eternity. All are hungers placed in the hearts of men by the One who created them. In the absence of true teaching, and sometimes in spite of it, men have and will continue to manufacture a way to attain one, two or all three.

But look again at the core teachings of Christ and see there the answer to each one. In Jesus we are reconciled with the God who created the heavens and earth, and who formed us in his image. In Jesus we have a righteousness we could never earn on our own, even if we were to live a thousand lives. And in Jesus we find life, both abundant and everlasting.

When all is said and done, it's pretty simple. (Notice I didn't say easy.) There is truth and it can be known by any who truly seek it. If you would know truth, then you would know God for he himself has promised:

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV)

Things you won't see in heaven:

Broken promises

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