10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

Popular content

Monday, January 12, 2009

Blessings Undisguised

Pet owners bring their loved ones in to the Center for Spiritual Living for annual ceremony.

Jordan Lee couldn’t bring her 9-year-old German shepherd to an animal blessing Sunday, so she dialed up a cellphone picture of the canine instead.

Looking at the photo, the 13-year-old read a blessing for the dog, just like she would for a friend.

“It’s just helping him out,” said Jordan, who, while not being able to transport her more-than-100-pound dog to the event, did bring a 1-year-old chinchilla, hoping that both animals would have long lives and good health.

The Sunland resident was one of about 20 pet owners to attend the ceremony at the Center for Spiritual Living, where participants read blessings in the names of their dogs, cats and even a ferret, invoking the Bible and affirming their love for the creatures, the Rev. Beverly Craig said.

“When people bring animals for blessing, it means that they have a spirituality they want to share with their animals,” Craig said.

Each blessing is an affirmation of the participant’s belief in the perfection of God’s creation in the form of the animal, person or thing being blessed, Craig said.

Most importantly, blessings, for animals or anything else, are acts of good faith that are attractive to people uncomfortable with organized religion, she said.

“There’s spirituality within everyone,” she said. “You say the word blessing and everybody thinks it’s good because they know it’s from God.”

Although the event was open to the public, most of Sunday’s attendees were congregants of the center.

Kailey Martinez-Ranage, 12, brought a friend’s deaf poodle for the blessing, which took place in a room full of people and a collection of animal species, she said.

“It was kind of funny to see all the animals reacting to each other,” said the Silver Lake resident, who noticed only some minor barking and curiosity on the part of dogs, who seemed unusually calm as they approached the cats in the room.

Shirley Cooper, a Sunland resident, has brought her 3-year-old Maltese Chihuahua to the ceremony for the last three years.

“I wanted him to have a blessing just because I love him, and you always want people and animals to be blessed,” Cooper said.

The animal blessing was partly a social outing for Gaby Hoffman and her husband Rene Hoffman, who brought their 6-year-old dog.

“It’s a wonderful community here, and we know a lot of the people through their animals,” Gaby Hoffman said. “It’s amazing how you kind of live through your animals.”

The center also collected donations for the Glendale Humane Society, which operates a local animal shelter.

Donors gave a total of $75, along with clean sheets, towels, rugs and blankets, for the society’s animal care operations.

The center is also planning a “biker blessing,” Craig said. She plans to invite motorcycle riders to bless their vehicles in the hope of keeping themselves safe while riding.

By Zain Shauk

No comments: