10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Evolution of God or It Ain’t Your Grandma’s God

“When I was your age, we walked to school seven miles, through the snow, uphill both ways!”

“When I was growing up, we went to church on Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and to every other event the church had.”

Well, it seems as the world “grows up” into this new and modernized era full of technological marvels and split-second globalized communication, the human being is growing away from the old traditions of religion toward a completely new flavor of spiritual understanding. Of course, the concepts of hybrid religions and decentralized spirituality aren’t new — only new to most people who are just now falling across the concepts as a result of this modern era.

The multi-faith, “Immaculate Inauguration” of our new President, Barack Hussein Obama, was a prominent example of an increasing embrace and acceptance of diversity in many areas, but especially an example of religion as more a hobby or interest as opposed to a dogmatic and fundamental monument. Muslims, Jews, Christians, and atheists were all mentioned and participated in the procedure and process — with essentially no reaction from anyone, except a mere noticing it happened.

One key element in this widely-viewed event was the notable and highly scrutinized message by the “token Evangelical,” Rick Warren. As this increasingly popular Protestant pastor said in his “prayer” (which came off more as a speech than communing with the Creator of the Universe),

Help us, Oh, God, to remember that we are Americans, united not by race, or religion, or blood, but to our commitment to freedom.

Some traditionalists might say this is blatant heresy, to invoke the name of God to assert that religion is a backdrop for a more important union. However, as his popularity makes clear, this is the direction religion is headed in the modern era — a deconstructed ideology, based on core principles of tolerance, humanitarianism, and ultimately love. Traditionalists and extremists in Judeo-Christian and Muslim communities alike are likely to summarily reject this view, while Buddhists might say, “This is what we’ve been saying all along!”

However, this growing culture of religion-less spirituality may simply be the deconstruction of social institutions improperly constructed in the first place. After all, Christ never aimed to build a religion: that was Paul’s idea. Christ gave direction only to preach the “Good News,” to all who would listen — that one, unified, unifying God is within us, and among us, and the kingdom of Heaven where God exists is a place in our hearts and minds where love and common decency prevail over tradition and ritual. So, for Christian leaders to assert these things now, is less of a new idea, but more a return to the original ideology.

Arguably, religious extremists reject such a view, because it destabilizes any central control. It gives people the freedom to think for themselves, and to resist the call to align with any certain structured ideological institution. If the predictions of prophets past and present are any indication, this conflict of interest between structured tradition and common sense will come to a violent head before common sense prevails — indeed, it has in the past, is currently, and likely will continue in the future. Yet, there is hope.

Those same prophets predict, in the end, common decency and love will conquer self-centered devotion — not only on personal levels, but on societal levels. If and when this does occur, would it not be Heaven on Earth to live peacefully and prosperously, united in the concepts of service, sacrifice, and selflessness? The scriptures say, one day every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus hit the nail on the head with his teachings — before a traditionalist and extremist world nailed him to a tree.

By: Timothy

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