10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Buddhists Tell How to Stay Happy Despite Crisis

People's happiness risks being evaporated along with their wealth as the financial crisis bites. Millions of people around the world are falling on hard times as they lose their jobs or businesses.

Liu Changle, CEO of Phoenix Satellite Television, told a seminar at the World Buddhist Forum in Wuxi, that there had been an increase in suicides in Hong Kong, since the economy of the financial center began its downward spiral.

But in a nearby seminar, monks, believers and scholars spoke about the true path to happiness and the importance of cultivating contentment as part of a strategy to build a harmonious world.

Speaker after speaker said selfishness and greed are to blame for the economic crisis. "The financial collapse is a symptom of the crisis of the value-system predominating in western countries," said Xiao Wunan, vice president of China's Socio-Economic and Cultural Exchange Association. "Materialism … stimulates an insatiable appetite for wealth. Profits are being made at the cost of natural resources, without regard for natural rules."

"I think it's time to propagate traditional Chinese culture (a combination of Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism) which calls for harmony between nature and human beings," Xiao said.

Yuan Chi, deputy curator of the China Buddhist Literature and Heritage Museum, said: "People are so addicted to the pursuit of profit that they rarely have the chance to experience a culture that can lead to wisdom. Government officials and entrepreneurs are dazzled by the prospect of profit, a double-edged sword that strips people of their dignity and their respect for law and morality."

To end suffering and curb corruption, the thinkers said people should cultivate altruism, a virtue capable of healing the pain caused by the financial tsunami. Gong Xiya, general manager of Beijing Capital Guarantee & Investment Co Ltd, said: "The Buddha once said 'a candle can still burn even after it has ignited 1,000 others. In the same way, happiness will never wane when it is shared by others'."

In spite of fierce competition in the financial field, Gong believes real happiness lies in a peaceful mind and the elimination of greed. She said: "The material, the exhaustible and the external are causes of conflict, while, happiness, which is infinite and internal, can be sought in peace. Happiness is unparalleled wealth; it should be pursued as the ultimate goal in life."

Her point was echoed by the Venerable Seik Hui Siong, abbot of the Vihara Mahavira Graha Pusa monastery in Indonesia. He said the lust for wealth is insatiable and the accumulation and consumption of worldly goods will not lead to happiness.

"Sakyamuni Buddha taught that suffering cannot be overcome by material things," the abbot said, "I believe a peaceful environment, free from selfishness, fear, and hatred, is a necessary condition for belief, for cultivating a spiritual path, and achieving common goals."

Group discussions on a variety of topics concerning the development of Buddhism, the relationship between Buddhism and Science as well as different Buddhist cultures, followed the opening ceremony of the forum in Fangong Palace, at Lingshan, a mountain in the countryside near Wuxi.

The delegates left Wuxi for Taipei, capital of Taiwan Province, by charter flight on Monday, March 30, where the forum will close on Wednesday, April 1.

By Wu Jin

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