10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Friday, March 13, 2009

Karma isn't Something to Stress Over

Karma. This is a term and a philosophy that most people are familiar with. I, however, am losing faith that people actually know what it is and how it works.

The term Karma originates from cultures and religions such as Hinduism and Buddhism. It's a concept that believes that your actions and deeds are direct cause to the effects of the outcome of your life later on. That they actively shape the present and future, and its adaption in the western tradition in Christianity is the whole idea of "You reap what you sow".

So when adapted to a generalized culture, it's a general understanding that Karma is simply in place to encourage good deeds and morality. You do something good, something good will happen to you. You participate in heinous behavior, and then life's waste matter hits the fan.

Everyone knows that Karma can sometimes be a… well, not very nice.

Most people just focus on the bad side of Karma like it's some voodoo curse you may spray upon the world and walk about cursing people with bad Karma. Like as if Karma undertook the deeds that you wish you could do yourself makes you a much purer minded person. Yes, continue being na've. It's amusing.

About two weeks ago, I was walking through campus in a hurry because I'm always late and running behind, when a certain organization (I will not throw out any names because you know, Karma) stopped me and asked me to donate to their cause. I felt in my pockets and bag for change and realized I had absolutely none. I apologized and tried to move on. The friend I was walking with, however, did have money she was willing to donate, so we walked over to do so. When my friend placed her dollar bill in the collection tin, I got cursed with bad Karma. The person asking people to donate, point blank told me that I would have bad Karma and fail my next test because I did not donate, and my friend would have good Karma because she did. I was rather shocked that someone would be willing to curse me with such a harsh punishment because I didn't have money to donate. But I walked away laughing at the matter, and both my friend and I were shocked at the audacity of someone just freely giving out bad Karma in the school court yard.

I think cursing someone with bad Karma simply to try to persuade them into cooperating with you just simply to get your way is bad Karma. There is no way you can expect for something good to happen when you are too busy trying to give bad Karma to everyone else.

Good luck to those who have wished bad Karma on everyone else for selfish endeavors. Just sit back, live your life and let Karma do the trick, and remember-what goes around, comes around.

By: Veronica Ivey

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