10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

Popular content

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Spiritual Questions for People

In this day of political correctness, it’s sometimes difficult to come up with conversation starters that won’t come back and bite you. Many people, especially if they’re the shy type, may feel that there are no appropriate questions to ask people for fear of causing offense or misunderstandings from which they can’t recover. The result is a bunch of wallflowers, dying on the vine for any meaningful communication. Here we take a look at five questions which will stimulate everyone’s thinking and offer a venue for the exchange of ideas. This is what communication is all about. You’ll be surprised at what you’ll learn. You might well make some new friends, too.

When thinking of questions to ask people, keep in mind that everyone loves talking about themselves. This is not a bad thing. People are so different in the way they perceive the world, and you can gain some interesting insights on how another person has arrived at an opinion on any subject.

For example, global warming is a hot topic these days. The only opening you need is a very hot or cold day. Wow, can you believe this heat? Did you see Al Gore’s movie, ‘An Inconvenient Truth’? If the person has, there’s much meat here for a lively conversation. If not, you can throw out a few remarks to capture their interest. Did you know that polar bears are dying out because they can no longer swim from one ice floe to another?

There are a range of answers you might receive. Perhaps this person doesn’t think global warming is real. That’s your cue to find out why they hold this opinion. Don’t try to be argumentative. Part of the art of successful questions to ask people requires a genuine curiosity on your part to understand their position. Another person of whom you ask the same question might be very involved and knowledgeable on the issue. In either case, you’ll learn a lot.

Let’s say you’re into the fashion scene. A simple question like, Where did you find those beautiful earrings?, can launch an entire conversation, beginning with the earrings and ending with an invitation to a fashion event. If nothing else, you’ll certainly gain a sense of that person’s fashion perspective and probably learn a thing or two.

When you formulate questions to ask people, it’s essential to remember that what you’re after is learning what others think on any given subject and how they arrived at their conclusions. You don’t need to agree with the other person. When you learn to draw people out, without disagreeing in an offensive manner, you’ll learn a great deal about humanity in general. The more people you talk to, the more enriched you become. It’s a two way street, because both parties are equally satisfied in having learned a new perspective. When you practice the art of questions to ask people, everyone wins.

No comments: