10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

Popular content

Monday, March 30, 2009

Will We Still Reject Materialism After the Downturn?

Question: I enjoyed your recent interview with Robert McElvaine. His thesis that the downturn will lead us away from consumption as a way of life to what really matters is interesting.

Am I correct in my impression there's a growing number of reports lately about such positive benefits of our economic woes? But even if true, I wonder how long such newfound wisdom will last, once credit starts flowing again.

Unlike the Great Depression, we have generations raised from babyhood on the importance of material possessions and the ease of acquiring them. Is that habit truly changing now, or just dormant until the worst blows over? I'd put my vote on dormant for those who may have to hunker down, but aren't losing their homes and struggling to feed their children. What's your take?

Paul Solman: I don't know if there's a growing number of benefits-of-downshifting reports, Marion, only that we ourselves have now done two of them - our interview with McElvaine and a piece called The Upside of the Downturn. Or maybe even three, if you count Dallas Salisbury's advice to start saving once again.

How long do I think the "newfound wisdom" will last? Remember, I'm the guy who can't go a month on this page without repeating that there are two kinds of economists...those who don't know the future, and those who don't know they don't know.

In short, I haven't a clue. But if I had to bet, it would be on another period of increasing optimism, with all (or many of) the attendant excesses. We human beings are obviously on the "more-is-better" treadmill. Presumably, we're wired that way, because those wired for covetousness, or just for staying ahead of the Joneses, DID get more in the EEA ("environment of evolutionary adaptedness"), when we were still evolving back in the Pleistocene. We had more to feed and shelter their kids, so more of our kids survived than those of, say, the hakuna matata types on the savannah. And so the "more" genes (or proteins or whatever) prospered, relatively speaking. End of the story: We can never get enough, because the whole point is "more than the other guy."

Now clearly, some folks get off the treadmill, or never get on. Near as I can tell, this is what Buddhism seems to be about. But I have to confess, I've known more than one Buddhist shopaholic in my time. Transcendence takes a lot of practice and even then, it's no slam dunk.

Marion Jacobs

No comments: