10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Thursday, April 02, 2009

Spirituality is Not Just a Religious Thing

Our thoughts, our dreams, our emotions… They are such an important part of who we are. They are the things that determine our actions on a minute by minute basis, yet they are an otherwise intangible and integral part of who we are. You cannot physically touch them, only experience them.

Through that experience they can be guided and modified. Our life paths are determined by these untouchable elements that are an undeniable part of what makes us human. They are, by definition, our spirit. Webster’s dictionary uses this description: An immaterial intelligent substance. Spirit is a substance in which thinking, knowing, doubting, and a power of moving do subsist. (Subsist is the same as exist)

That is quite a powerful idea yet one that brings more understanding to the importance of “spirituality” in our lives. If spirit is that thing in us that causes us to act and react in particular fashions then no one is void of being spiritual. I think sometimes we just don’t realize it. However, I would have to guess that it is possible for some to be more so than others.

Let me pose this question to you. Being that the spirit in us is what makes us, “us”, is it reasonable to say that it is something we should take great care of… considering it is the things that causes us to move in one direction or the other?

Let me add in one factor. Webster’s defines spiritual as: relating to, consisting of, or affecting the spirit. Affecting basically means to have influence to effect change.

So it seems to me that being “spiritual” is really nothing more than personal growth (or lack there of) that effects change in our lives by influencing the way we think and react, thus determining where we go in life.

This is a very liberating idea!! Basically what it says is that because we truly are “spirit” beings, we have complete and total power to determine what happens in our lives and where we go.

So let me challenge you with this… take your “spirituality” seriously! Don’t just let the winds of life whip you aimlessly from one side to the other! Take the bull by the horns and make your determination and hit your destination. If you have questions and need answers… give the Bible a try. You might just find that its not as complicated as you once thought!!

Author: Jeremie Amos

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